It’s ‘Mother’s Day’ and Moms Speak of Mother…

It’s ‘Mother’s Day’ and Moms Speak of Mother-Daughter Relationship

The mother and daughter bond influences our lives in ways we may not even realize. The relationship between a woman and her mother is so powerful, it affects everything from her health and self-esteem to all her other relationships. The mother-daughter relationship is the most powerful bond in the world, for better or for worse. It sets the stage for all other relationships. No other childhood experience is as compelling as a young girl’s relationship with her mother. There is value in the mother-daughter tie because the two parties care for one another and share a strong investment in the family as a whole. And what mothers want….love actually. As the world celebrates ‘Mother’s Day’, Team Mangalorean had asked as part of our “Mother-Daughter Look-Alike’ Contest, a cross-section of moms what they feel about their relationship between Mother and Daughter, and what they would really like from their children, families and the society. Here we present to you a few testimonies what Moms have to say……and also one small article what a daughter has to say about her Mom.

Motherhood – A Priceless Gift !

by Divya D’Souza- Mangaluru

Motherhood is one of the priceless gifts any woman can receive. Being a Mom means more than just giving birth to a child, it’s caring for a new soul that is a part of you and is dependent on you physically and emotionally. Its an experience that is unimaginable to a woman without a child. It brings in a new dimension to a woman giving her strength of character, love and patience that she never thought she could have before being a mother. I should know because I am the proud mother of two girls, aged 14 and a half and 13. It has been the most life changing and fulfilling experience of my life and as the years pass by, I believe it will only get better.

I remember my days as a child and I was an extremely naughty child.I wonder now, how my mom even put up with me. My mischief put my parents in very interesting situations umpteen times and now I have grown to be a woman that can face any challenge in life and I credit my parents for that. Although my mom was strict about following rules and doing household chores, which at that time resented, I know now that it has made me a great homemaker , business woman and the mom I am today. I remember when I would argue with my mom and ask her why and she would say,” When you have kids of your own, you will realize.”

I am sure many of us start valuing our own mothers only after we become mothers ourselves. We see things in ways that we saw differently when we were younger. Because only a mother can truly understand the needs of a child without the child even needing to say so. An infant who cries may cry for hunger, for the nappy being wet, for being sleepy , for a tummy ache,or just to be fondled, but only a mother understands why the baby cries. This unspoken language between mother and child begins from the womb and every day forward is a beautiful journey with a new experience every single day teaching us mothers new ways, helping us grow individually as our children grow.

My heart goes out to those who have not been blessed with a child, for that experience that they do not have. I can recall countless incidents where my girls have made me smile and somewhere I just break into sudden mad laughter while sitting someplace Days when I have been stressed with work or any other frustration, it’s a mere few moments with my kids that recharges me back into action. From the day you see your child taking their first step to the times they come back home with proud smiles with trophies in hand, the feeling of satisfaction a mother feels is totally priceless. She never remembers the countless days when she has stayed awake when the kids are sick, or when they need to stay awake to study, or when they come back home late, all she remembers is their small feet and hands when they were born, their first words, and all the numerous incidents laced with fun, mischief and laughter. The first throes of motherhood are painful, sometimes lasting long hours, but when a mother sees her newborn baby, all the pain vanishes at the mere sight of this new blessing in her life.

The tuneless songs, noisy fights ,being mean and teaching hard lessons that make her cry inside but she still stands strong with resolve because she has an immense responsibility raising a child who will also be a parent one day.Looking through old photographs that make her heart swell with pride recalling the milestones in her children lives and reliving them with tears in her eyes.Remembering the chaos, the confusion, the days when she wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep but couldn’t because her children needed her to be MOM.

Being a mother is a blessing, a gift , a love that never ever ends. It’s the best thing I have ever become and it’s what completes and defines me as a woman. No words can express enough gratitude to the Lord Almighty for bestowing this gift to me. I feel extremely proud to be a Mother. Happy Mother’s Day to all Mother’s and would be Mothers out there!

Motherhood is a Life-Altering Experience which has made me more Responsible

by P. Adithi A. Bhandarkar-Mangaluru

Mother-daughter relationships are often characterized by years of contradictions – fierce and protective love, hurtful acting out by both parties, disapproval, and competition. We may also know extraordinary acts of compassion and generosity. Mother-daughter relationships are fascinating fodder, especially as we grow older. We arrive at a near visceral understanding of the daily decisions, the constant compromises, and all the factors that influence our behaviors when we take on the motherhood role. Regardless of the loving or contentious nature of the bond, perhaps we come to a place of greater empathy for our mothers, as I had with my mother for years when I grew up and till I got married.

And now being a mother to my beautiful daughter and also expecting one more child soon, I feel that motherhood is a life-altering experience. My life has changed for the better, and it has been exhilarating to love so unconditionally. Motherhood has also made me far more responsible and driven with what I do and how I do it because I am aware that I am a role model to my daughter. I make gratitude, kindness, compassion, integrity and discipline a part of my everyday life. My expectations of my child are very high when it comes to behavior and the way she respects and treats elders.

I believe in Good Thoughts, Good Words and Good Deeds, and I will teach my daughter the values of these commandments as she grows up. Every day I will try to be a better version of myself because I am aware that my daughter will be watching and learning from me. That is the huge responsibility. I feel that I am incredibly blessed with this daughter, and I do have a great caring and loving husband who supports me and encourages me in my day to day life as a mother to my daughter. As a result, I am able to be there for her, despite the many challenges today. As my mother has always been the pillar of my strength to me, I will follow in her footsteps.

When I think of my daughter, I feel blessed. Above all, I expect her to grow up to be strong, independent, responsible lady. I believe a good mother is someone her children can approach without hesitation, someone they can rely on. And I strive to ensure that I am always there for my daughter when she needs me. I believe that having some fun and laughing with your children every day despite the pressures of life makes one a good mother. As there is so much competition to be the “Best Mom”, women should realize that there is no competition and there is no trophy to be won. The idea is to be the best mother that she can be and enjoy her time with her children. I also believe that children should not be given everything on a platter as this will not let them grow into strong individuals.

As we celebrate ‘Mother’s Day” today, my wish would be that the someday what my daughter has dreamed will come true. I want her to her own aspirations, her own jugfuls of zest and positive energy, of commitment and sincerity, of strength and determination to evolve into a fine human being. As a mother, I would like to inculcate many good values in her- being humble, helpful and honest are some of them. Everyone has a story to tell, especially mothers as their stories don’t often get told. Much of who we are is thanks to how we have been brought up. I think every mother is the best mother to her kids. I believe in each to their own and one should never judge another parent, or anyone for that matter, as everyone’s situation is different. I am no expert, just a regular mom learning everyday-often from my kid? Happy Mother’s Day!

“I want My Daughters to Respect Elders and strongly Believe in their Faith”

by Dr Viola D’Souza-Las Vegas, USA

Las Vegas-USA: The relationship between mother and daughter is like an intense love affair – veering between passion and pain. From talking to scores of mothers and daughters and analyzing their conversations, I’ve come to understand why we get it so wrong – and what we can do about it. A girl’s best friend is the person to whom she tells everything. A man’s best friend is the person with whom he does everything. A man can play tennis with his friend every week and not know he’s getting divorced. Can you imagine that happening with a woman?

I don’t believe in Mother’s Day, because every day is Mother’s Day for me- 24/7, 365 days of the year. And as crazily as I love my two daughters, sometimes I do wish that all mothers could have 364 days off and just do mommy duty on ‘Mother’s Day”. I know being a mother is a remarkably frustrating role, which in turn is also immensely rewarding. I see my daughters become their own people every single day as they grow up and nothing in this world comes close to the smug satisfaction that I get in being a mother. Every mother wants to be the “Best Mother” that her kids will ever have. And I hope to get a sweatshirt or a T-shirt from the daughters which would say ‘ World’s Greatest Mom”!.

As a mother, we should show our love, kindness, affection and compassion towards our children, which is something we all need in this world. I teach my daughters discipline, good manners, to respect elders, and say their prayers- I want them to grow up and continue to believe in their faith. We pray together like my mother taught when I was growing up. In this crazy age of intolerance and mixing with “bad apples” at school, I always tell them to keep their faith simple and pure.

I want my daughters to be successful and happy. I want them to do things their way, not make themselves over in anyone else’s mould. I want them to resist the templates that other people will try set for them. Since both my daughters during their pre-school were under the guidance of nuns who taught them the religious values and manners- Annabelle did her early schooling at Mount Carmel Central School- MaryHill, while Alexis did hers at St Angela Pre-Primary School-Bejai. My sincere thanks to Sr Melissa AC-Principal at MCCS, and Sr Matilda Cardoza-Principal at St Angela’s for shaping up and caring for my daughters to be good and God fearing girls.

We are one happy family – we laugh, we play, we cuddle, we kiss, we hug, we have petty arguments, and we chat with each other endlessly and cherish every moment. Because everything else will be left behind, but this love between me and my daughters, Annabelle and Alexis, will carry us through life and beyond. I know as a mother, all the jobs we do are the toughest and most satisfying. And without mothers, this world would come to an end. Long live the Mothers- and “Happy Mother’s Day” to all the readers of Mangalorean.com

“I’m a Big Believer in Mother-Daughter Time” – Padmaja Shetty, Bengaluru

Bengaluru: I think we underestimate how important it is for moms and daughters to do things together in those early years. Yes, I adore her but she also drives me mad, The relationship between mothers and daughters is probably both the most fruitful and the most fraught a woman ever has. It’s the source of the deepest love and deepest anger – even hate – we ever experience.

Take a simple everyday conversation: if you nab some coveted handbag in the sale, your daughter will be the first one to share your excitement. But tell her you’re on a diet and she can’t resist saying: “Make sure you keep it up.” That’s when you feel like throttling her. You share every hope and dream with her. She knows you inside out and is supposed to be on your side, so why does she insist on making you feel a failure?

It’s the same when she gets onto the topic of your hair and your clothes. According to her, they’re never quite right. But ask your daughter why she’s so critical and she’ll be horrified. She genuinely thinks she’s only trying to help. This doesn’t happen with sons simply because with mothers and daughters we are brought face to face with reflections of ourselves, and that forces us to confront who we are, who we want to be and how we relate to others. And – perhaps not surprisingly given we’re women and love to if talk – a lot boils down to mixed messages in the conversation. The conversations we have with our mothers are the glue that binds us. No bond is stronger than that between mother and daughter. We can either regard it as a ribbon that ties a beautiful gift or a tie that binds and imprisons.

I think mothers always act selflessly in the best interests of their children. It’s nice to celebrate this aspect of women, even if it is for a day. Being a mother has made me a more responsible person and it’s not easy. But it’s great to relive my childhood with my daughter. Women play many roles and they should be respected for all the roles they play. I believe that all women should make time for themselves and invest in their personal growth. They should do this guilt-free. This way, the children and family respect the woman in her as much as the mother in her. Not just on Mother’s Day, a mother should be appreciated and honored every single day of the year.

Mother’s Day is kind of a new concept that has invaded India from Western countries, because when I grew up it didn’t exist. However, my mother was the most important person in my life. She was the hub of our home around which the whole family thrived. It is said that we never truly know the love of a parent until we become parents ourselves. So, today is also a day to remember my own mother who strived beyond her limited means to ensure a better life for me. This mother’s day, I wish peace and well-being for my daughter.

In conclusion, all I have to say is that I am proud of my daughter and that I love her with all my heart. And Happy Mother’s Day to all Mothers out there!

My relationship with my Mother- “We Are like Best Friends”

by Almirah-Mangaluru

Our relationship is more like “Best Friends”. We share our secrets, Joys, Sorrows, Excitement…Almost everything you can possibly think about with each other. We also fight like sisters sometimes…but at the end of the day, we love each other…We are like sisters they say…who think and do same things at the same time. We say things together..we have similar interests…Like Dancing, Playing, Sports, music etc. We hang out a lot..like we go shopping..Movies..Parties..Long Drives etc ..We are like two parts of ‘The Same Person’…I am the younger version of my mother…We may look all dressed up and Girly..But we are tomboys…My mother is no less than a Man..because there is nothing that she cannot do. My Mom is a Super Woman.

Yes, it’s Mother’s Day, the time when we all reflect on our relationships with our mothers and think about the things we wish we had told our moms by now. My relationship with my mom was like an intense love-hate relationship. We fought within ourselves sometimes, but not for long. I gained a whole new level of respect for my mom and what she did (and does) for my family and me. Here are a few things I want to say to my Mom on this “Mother’s Day”: I’m sorry for lying to you about literally everything; Thank you for forcing me to do my schoolwork; You inspire me; I’m so glad you’re here; Do what YOU want once in a while instead of sacrificing yourself to do what I want; Buy yourself something nice; and I’ve always wanted to make you proud. I hate when you’re disappointed in me-That’s the real reason I would get so angry and defensive. I love you anyways, Mom! Happy Mothers Day.