Anger Management: How to Get Angry the Right Way
The reasons for our outbursts are aplenty. The neighbouring kid who beats up your favourite cat, the laundry guy who doesn’t return your clothes on time, the slow driver who blocks your way when you are in a hurry for that all-important meeting, someone used your vehicle-parking space in the apartment or the customer-care voice of your telecom operator who takes an eternity to answer! These circumstances take our peace away and turn our minds into volcanic hotspots. There are some of us who remain still and don’t display any emotions when angry, and there are people who show extremely violent behaviour. Both these type of emotional displays are equally bad for our health, mind, heart and human relationships.
According to psychologists, anger is a normal emotion that always gets negative press. They view that anger is a sign of something which is not right and needs to be addressed quickly. When we take notice of that signal and rectify the problem, we’re usually much better for it. When we get angry, certain physiological changes take place, which increases our blood pressure and cause fast breathing. Amygdala- the first responder of the brain- sets into motion stress hormones such as adrenalin and cortisol. One of the two responses might occur in this situation: fight, as you are angry with people or flight, as you are afraid.
Societal norms and parental restrictions have conditioned most of us to hide our reactions. For women, especially, who are supposed to be caring and kind, getting angry is viewed as an opposite of normal emotions. Hence they prefer to remain silent when angry. This tendency may lead to stress-related issues such as autoimmune conditions, according to research. One such research done at the University of Rochester shows that suppressing emotions will lead to a shorter life span. “When your stress response is perpetually activated, your body can become resistant to the anti-inflammatory effects of cortisol, stay in a state of inflammation, and be more prone to developing physical diseases like diabetes and mental illness, such as depression” points out the research.
Just as suppressing emotions is bad for our mental and physical well-being, lashing out at people when we are angry is also a dangerous habit. Apart from spoiling human relationships, it leads to headache, stomach ache and, under extreme conditions, heart attacks too. Blood flow to the heart gets affected, and our cardiovascular system gets stressed. However, one must understand to differentiate between anger and aggression. Anger is an emotional issue, whereas aggression is a behavioural issue.
The best way to handle anger is to ensure we don’t tread the extremes. The things that take our toll are the extreme highs and lows in anger. Anger is often triggered by an irritating situation or a person. It is also a culmination of our deeply hidden feelings of fear, anxiety, hatred, complexity, guilt, frustration and disappointment. Concentrate on the triggers and learn to see them through as much as possible. One useful tactic is reframing. “Take a step back from that situation and look at it in a different way”, say psychologists. Express yourself clearly in the most acceptable words. You can take a ‘cool-down period’ before speaking out. Bring up your most reasonable points with the other person in a manner that elicits constructive responses. Controlled breathing and physical exercises are productive methods to keep the mind healthy and calm.
Mr Gurudatta Somayaji is an academician with Post-Graduate degrees in English Literature and Management; Bachelor degree in Education, Mr Gurudatta Somayaji has 15 years of experience in the areas of teaching, training and public relations. He is an alumnus of MGM College, Udupi and Justice K.S. Hegde Institute of Management, Nitte.
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