COMIC RELIEF – MINDING ONE’S OWN BUSINESS!! – EPISODE 9

By Donald D’ Silva, Mira Road, Karkala

Donald D’ Silva is an Advertising Professional & Brand Strategist managing his own Digital Marketing Company in Mumbai. He writes about Current Affairs, Political Analysis, Bollywood Happenings and a variety of Social subjects.

CELEBS IN INDIA GET FRUSTRATED WHEN THEIR PAST COMES TO HAUNT THEM! WHY CAN’T THEY BURY THE HATCHET AND RECONCILE?

 Background:

(There are four friends who were thick and thin in their childhood. They were inseparable. Now, today they are in their 50 s and late 50s. they regularly get together and make merry as they have made their money and are well settled in their lives. It is the case of jumping early into business and tasting success. Two of them have taken VRS and settled down.)

1. Jeevan Shetty: He is the owner of three Bar & Restaurants. One in Mangalore and two in Mumbai. A billionaire in his own right. From Karkala.
2. SathishShenoy: He has a cloth store in Moodbidri. He has two veg Restaurants in Mumbai.
3. Richard Almeida: He has one Bar & Restaurant in Mumbai.
4. Melvin D’ Mello – He has two night clubs in Mumbai.

(The four friends again gathered at Jeevan Shetty’s house. Booze flows as the conversation gathers momentum)

Jeevan: Hello Friends, heartiest welcome to you all!! Hope everything is well everywhere!

Sathish: Yes! Most of them are safe, hale and hearty! I feel sad to celebrate daily…. but…. we are also human beings…. we are helping lots of people! We need to have a proper frame of mind as well!!

Melvin: Rightly said!! The medical professionals the world over are saying the same.  During lockdown period…all have to be calm, quiet and composed…. we drink a little and enjoy our conversation to kill financial worries…. tension and the loss of business…!! People should take this Corona seriously and need to learn to live with the virus!

Richard: Perfectly! We should be on top of the Virus!! Virus should not kill our confidence!

M: As promised, I brought 3 litres of JW Black Label…… let’s enjoy…Sathish maam, it’s your turn …uncork the bottle…. let’s start…!

All said cheers…!!

J: The celebs and mythological characters have dominated our conversation…. I somehow enjoy the characters…The more we discuss…there is an ocean of subjects there.

S: You are right! But, another issue is bothering me apart from these…Our poor old Mangalore city…. The problems we are facing…The Pachanady landslide of garbage…. this year also during the rainy season we will suffer again I think!

R: That was a great fiasco! Post the torrid rains last year and many years before that, solid waste flowed down from a dump yard 2.7 Kms away and drowned an entire village. Poor people of the picturesque village ‘Mandara’ suffered a lot! Our municipal corporation’s crazy attitude and high handedness is the reason!

M: The mudslides washed away coffee plantations, houses, vehicles and human habitat! An entire village got drowned!! Very sad!

J: Mandara was considered a beautiful village once! It got submerged under the heavy load of so many lakh tones of solid waste and the fertile land turned into a nightmare! MCC’s preparation went for a toss! The entire area has gone!

S: How can we become a smart city? The place is within the city limits and we are claiming to be among the top ten smart cities in the country!

M: The primary income is of agricultural produce. There were 26 families consisting of 110 people living there. Their income is only by selling coconut, areca nut and pepper.

J: This time I believe the Municipal Commissioner, DC and MCC officials must have done the preparations. Rains have already hit us!

S: You forgot the celebs part. Richard knows a lot about them. Melvin as well. The TV celebs and film people used to visit their bars & night clubs. Richard needs a start….

J: What were you saying about the celebs’ lafdas…Richard?

R: It was about the superstitions of celebs and the past haunting them…like Sunjay Dutt always using the number plate….4545…. he believes in number 9 and he thinks it brings him luck…. You see all his vehicles…. all carry same number plates.

J: He must have paid the RTO a hefty amount for this!

R: Yes, RTO has a scheme for this.

J: Why he married three times?

R: Sunju is unlucky in his married life. He thought Dev Saab’s heroine will bring him luck. So, he swept Richa Sharma out of her feet and married her in 1980. All was well, till she was diagnosed of brain cancer! She died leaving behind Trishala, their daughter! Sunju’s in-laws did not let go of her! She stayed with them in the States. Sunju was aghast…. but could not do a thing about it!

His in-laws thought, he is unlucky and did not send her to him. On the rebound he married to Rhea Pillai on February 14^th, Valentine’s day. It was a registered marriage. Only some friends were there at the registrar’s office. No siblings or relatives.

M: This marriage did not last long. Sunju’s case was haunting him. So, he had to go through mental trauma! Then, here again, he faltered…. She was deeply in love with Leander Paes, the Tennis ace. Sunju ko pata chala…. he divorced her!! Rhea and Leander got married and after some years divorced.

After that, the drama continued…and still, the case is in the court! Rhea and Leander are fighting a bitter court battle for custody of their only child…. post-divorce…. Rhea was also the wrong choice for Sunju!!

J: Poor guy, no luck in love life…! He was head over heels in love with Madhuri, during their ‘Khalnayak’ movie shoots and release. She dumped him!!

S: Why?

M: Because of his cases! He was termed as a terrorist!! He was lodged in jail. Anyone will leave him! Why only Madhuri? There was fear!! Everyone thought he will be hanged!!

R: He then fell in love with one Muslim girl She was a dancer in a film called ‘Gangajal’.the Ajay Devgn starrer and somehow, Sunju got hold of her! After a lengthy courtship, he married her. Now, they are happily living together!

J: Salman also believes in luck. If you check, he carries a blue coloured bracelet on his right arm, His father gave him and he says it brought him luck.

S: You are right. In his second film journey, he never had the setbacks….after ‘Wanted’ movie, he never looked back!! His father Salim Khan is the architect of his success. Father approves all the scripts, the son gets, sits for narration and then okays the film. Dabangg was bakwas…..but already has become a franchise and the masses love him…he is our Mumbai’ Rajnikant…!

J: Means?

M: Like the Tamil megastar, all his films have larger than life characters, one person fighting an army!! He gives one punch and several people fly in the air…they get injured or run away!!

R: This model has been lapped up by the audience! Even Rohit Shetty used it in his two ‘Singhams’ and ‘Simbaa’ as well!! Ajay fought with the hoodlums single-handedly and gave severe punishment to them.

M: Even, Amitabh did the same in his old movies….till he got hurt by Puneet Issar during ‘Coolie’s’ shoot.

S: That’s how his relationship with ‘Rekha’ was broken!! Jaya ran from pillar to post and prayed at all Temples, Durgahs, Churches….her relentless prayers helped Amitabh in his speedy recovery and ‘Rekha’s’ chapter was all forgotten!!

M: Love had blossomed and the two were planning to get married….the relationship ended in bitterness! Once, during an award function, Amitji and Abhishek were standing at the entrance. Rekha with her paramour Farzana, once upon a time chota mota journalist was with her. She ignored Amitabh and gave a peck on the cheek of Abhishek and moved away!! Amitji looked at her amusingly!! Rekha learnt shush Hindi from Amitabh!! Her dialogue delivery got changed. She became more interested in her dress sense. The bitterness has stayed. No communication with Amitabh since maybe 30 years or so…!!

R: The Jodi was great!! I enjoyed all their movies together…. Like ‘Muqaddar ka Sikander’, Suhaag, Silsila (a mirror to their love affair), Imaan Dharam, Mr. Natwarlal, Khoon Pasina, Ram Balram etc. One of the successful jodis of Hindi cinema!

J: Rekha also married four times…. isn’t it?

M: Yes…. she was the child of ‘Gemini Ganeshan’ choto mota star of Tamil cinema and a struggling actress ‘Pushpawalli’! Reportedly an illegitimate child! Was a real fatso, when she acted in her maiden film called ‘Sawaan Bhadon’. Only she became famous and honed her skills after her chakkar with Amitji! Before that, she showed her talent in movies like Hrishida’s’ Jhooti’ and others like  Khubsoorat, Pran Jaaye per Vachan na Jaaye and hordes of other movies. Still, talent alone does not count in Bollywood, but, a rollicking affair with a famous co-star does wonders!! Clinging onto Amitabh helped her career a great deal!!

J: Her four marriages?

R: She first married late Vinod Mehra….he had a bad reputation of being a womanizer..They divorced ….second was some lesser-known ‘Yash Kohli’ Third with Kiran Kumar…Jeevan’s son…

J: He just recovered from Corona…

R: Yes!! Same person!! All three ended up in divorce. Last one was with ‘Mukesh Agarwal’! He was running a business called ‘Hotline’ Brand, a range of home appliances!

S: What happened to him?

R: One fine day, he committed suicide using her dupatta and hung on his ceiling fan in his bedroom! Poor Soul!! No suicide note was found! He was into depression!

J: Industry people say, Amitabh was the reason! They were constantly in touch with each other regularly it seems!

M: But, there is no proof though!! Rekha did not care…she did not attend the funeral also…She carried on with her life…She is still living with her paramour ‘Farzana’ at Sea Springs, bang opposite the sea at Bandstand, Bandra!! No remorse! She regularly visits the award shows and lives a reclusive life!

J: Shilpa Shetty was very much bitter with Akshay for two-timing her! Now, they have reconciled, but the wounds are there…

M: Because Akshay believes in …Astrology…! His is a Virgo and he cannot marry a Gemini or Scorpio!! So, he dumped Shilpa…even though they could have made a pleasant Jodi!

J: Who is the Scorpio he was involved with?

R: The mast mast cheez…. who else? ‘ Raveena’, of course!!

J: Raveena was head over heels in love with him during their film ’Mohra’!

M: Akshay dumped her and then the first relationship of his was ‘Pooja Batra’! Another Scorpio. She was very bitter with him and still, they are not in talking terms!

S: Eventually, he married Twinkle Khanna and he found bliss in his life! Pooja Batra is seen nowhere. Raveena married a second-hand husband. Anil Thadani. Also, Shilpa married a second hand…Raj Kundra!!

J: Why these starlets married second hands?

M: First hand ne dhoka diya…so what next? Second hand with money…. what to do? Life is like that!

R: You mentioned Puneet Issar a while ago…. he played the character ‘Duryodhan’  in Mahabharat. What about Duryodhan, he had only one wife?

J: From where you jumped…yaar? We are talking about Film Stars!

R: But, he is also a TV star…and am talking about the epic’s famous villainous character!

S: Ok, Shanti…Shanti…Duryodhan had only one wife on record…he had a roving eye..he molested a Gandharva girl once under drunken stupor….but, was arrested and taken as a prisoner…his bodyguard ran to Yudhisthir and asked for help. They were into ‘Vanvas’ and staying nearby in a forest.

M: Where was Karna, his warrior friend and his beloved brother Dusshyasan?

S: They were also pissed drunk! Unconscious!

R: Then, what happened?

S: Yudhishthir, bewakoof that he was…he ordered Bheem and Arjun to help Duryodhan. They went to the Gandharva’s tent and released Duryodhan. The Gandharvas’ panchayat had ordered him the death sentence. Bheem told that he had a vow to break Duryodhan’s waist and legs and also he wanted to kill all the Kauravas. He did that eventually in the war though! If he is not released, they have to fight the duo!

M: So, Duryodhan was released.

S: Yes, he was ashamed! When Karn and his brother came out of their sozzled scenario…the eldest Kaurava was already released.

The only person in Mahabharat who had many wives was Arjun!! Rest all had one wife. Apart from Lord Krishna. Because in ‘Treta Yug’, Lord Vishnu became one man wife..’Maryada Purushottam Ram’ and in ‘ Dwapar Yug’, he became Krishna.

Krishna became the boy next door and played a normal personality of a lover and a shrewd person with great political acumen and managed the killing of evil without his weapon…’Sudarshan Chakra’, but using his brain and manipulating the ‘Kauravas’ wicked mentality. He used the weapon to kill his cousin ‘Shishupala’ only, no one else.

M: Why Shishupala?

S: He had the bad habit of abusing Krishna in front of everyone. His mother used to say sorry to Krishna. Krishna told his aunt, I don’t mind the abuses, but only up to hundredth!! Till 99 abuses I will forgive him….but he reaches the hundredth…then he will have it…Shishupala was crazy….he went on abusing Lord Krishna….continously in the darbar in front of totally jam-packed people..!! Krishna started counting…when he reached the 90s…..like Tendulkar and Sehwag…start counting when they reach the nineties. Just about to fire a century…

Krishna…counted… “97, 98, 99…..”Shishupala did not stop….he scored his century…Done deal!!

On the 100^th insult…Lord Krishna hurled his mighty weapon….the ‘Sudarshan Chakra’ at Shishupala…in a fraction of a second….the chakra dashed revolvingly at Shishupala and beheaded him in full view of all the people gathered!! Lord Krishna was fuming in anger!! In his fury, he had hurt his right hand forefinger…

Draupadi was nearby..she noticed it…she immediately tore the small portion of her saree pallu and tied the cloth around ‘Krishna’s finger!! Lord Krishna smiled in appreciation…he said ‘Panchali…I am impressed…when the time comes…I will repay every thread of yours..surrounding my finger’!!

M: Yeah, I remember the famous words…, how did he repay?

J: Lord Krishna did repay. He did that when during the lost gamble of Yudhisthira, where he lost his kingdom and wife Draupadi to the evil Shakuni..Duryodhan ordered his brother to disrobe Draupadi. She prayed to Lord Krishna…and he delivered…the saree was never-ending…Lord Krishna ensured that….the cloth worn by Draupadi kept on increasing till Dussyashan was tired of pulling it….There was a huge dump of clothing….like a Bombay dyeing…mill..

S: Lord Krishna’s avatar is a memorable one!! He liked Arjun very much…and also gave his sister ‘ Subhadra’ in marriage to him! Arjun had another two wives … ’Chitragada and ‘Uloochi’! I answered your question as to who had more wives in Mahabharat epic!!

M: Very lengthy story…indeed…but interesting ..what about Karna?

S: All others including Karna had single wives.

M: But, don’t go by the epic…In real life, Arjun played by Feroz Khan who has re-christened himself as Arjun and Nitish Bhardwaj who played the role of Lord Krishna have single wives and are happily married, including Puneet Issar, who played Duryodhan and Pankaj Dheer who played…Karna are happily married to their wives.

J: Pankaj Dheer’s son is a famous villain…you remember… ‘Nikitin Dheer’ who acted in Shahrukh’s‘ Chennai Express’. The tall and athletic personality.

R: Yes, I remember…!! in the south he is a sought after villain!

J: What about Mukesh Khanna?

S: He like his character he played… ’Bheeshm’ he never married…has stayed a bachelor.

J: I love the characters of ‘Mahabharata’ epic…I bought the DVDs immediately after they hit the market. Still, I possess them. My invaluable treasure trove! I love to watch them every now and then to while away time.

M: Now, it is time to have dinner, celebs chakkars and the characters from the epic are making our nights wonderful….

R: Doesn’t even know, how time passed…!

J: Yeah! Satish maam is a treasure trove of epic sagas…like the epic scenes and characters…the celeb chakkars are also never-ending….!

M: Common., lets hit the dinner table….

R: Like they say in ‘Tulunaad’……today’s kola has come to an end…!

J: Chalo, Gentlemen, finish your glasses…. today the food is from ‘Guthu’!! let’s enjoy our dinner!

(All headed towards the dinner table)

From the Author:

• Politicians always win votes through Oratorial Skills! How?

• CELEBS IN INDIA ARE VERY MUCH INTO SUPERSTITION, BE IT THEIR MOVIES OR AFFAIRS! WHY? – EPISODE 8

• CONTROVERSIES ARE EVERYWHERE….BE IT POLITICS, BUSINESS, CORONA CRISIS AND ABOVE ALL BOLLYWOOD!

• BOLLYWOOD & TV STARS, LIKE OTHER PEOPLE WORSHIP LORD GANESHA! WHAT IS SALMAN’S HOUSEHOLD’S SPECIAL INTEREST?

• BOLLYWOOD STARS DONATE FOR CHARITY…WHY SOME STARS INCLUDING SHATRUGHAN SINHA DOES NOT? DOES HE NEED A MIRACLE?

• CHANGE OF BEHAVIORAL PATTERNS – EVEN IN THE MYTHOLOGY!!

• LIQUOR SHOPS OPEN AND THE CHAOS CREATED!!

• BOLLYWOOD STARS – SUCCESSFUL & FAILURES!!

• NAMING THE BRIDGE!!