COMIC RELIEF – MINDING ONE’S OWN BUSINESS!! EPISODE 1
NAMING THE BRIDGE!!
By Donald D’ Silva, Mira Road, Karkala
Donald D’ Silva is an Advertising Professional & Brand Strategist managing his own Digital Marketing Company in Mumbai. He writes about Current Affairs, Political Analysis, Bollywood Happenings and a variety of Social subjects.
Background:
There are four friends who were thick and thin in their childhood. They were inseparable. Now, today they are in their 50 s and late 50s. They regularly get together and make merry as they have made their money and are well-settled in their lives. It is the case of jumping early into business and tasting success. Two of them have taken VRS and settled down.
1. Jeevan Shetty: He is the owner of three Bar & Restaurants. One in Mangalore and two in Mumbai. A billionaire in his own right. From Karkala.
2. Sathish Shenoy: He has a cloth store in Moodbidri. He has two veg Restaurants in Mumbai.
3. Richard Almeida: He has one Bar & Restaurant in Mumbai.
4. Melwyn D’Mello: He has two night clubs in Mumbai.
They have gathered at Jeevan’spalatial bungalow for a chat.
Satish: Shetre, now all the businesses are shut. What will happen in the future?
Jeevan: sit at home. Wear masks and while drinking remove them. The authorities are doing their jobs well. Udupi is very good in terms of numbers.
Richard: The bars may not open?
J: Who cares? Best situation for habitual drinkers who can kick the habit for some time. Samta Banerjee and P. Ajayan are opposed to closure of liquor shops. Ajayan started in Kerala though. Bihari’s used to go to UP, get sozzled and come back.
Melvyn: Goa is cool!! How come? No cases? Virus does not affect the drunkards?
S: It’s like the jopadpatti’s in Dharavi, Worli etc. Mosquitoes bite them and get drunk on hooch and desidaaru. No dengue, malaria cases there since ages. The gutter is flowing across!
J: But, there are cases of Corona, the highest numbers. People stay there in large numbers. There are a minimum of 10 people in one house. Small shanties with one-storied building.
Goa is calm, reason not known. No tourism there for a year I suppose. We need to send the barking dog….Sornabh to Dharavi and Worli….I heard that the virus runs away when mad humans bark!!
S: yes, that’s why Grump is also barking at journalists and other listeners it seems.
R: I beg to differ! Some viruses have created a union. Especially, in the western countries, EU and north Atlantic…. they attack wherever the barking happens!! See US and other EU countries….!
M: But, EU and other countries’ leaders are not barking at all!! Joris Jackson used to bark, but now after he checked in into the ICU, post coming back he is totally quiet.
J: The virus’s commander managing the EU and North Atlantic nations has said that only one barking dog like Grump is enough for them to attack. He wants to win the election, so he is barking!! Roe Ziden is a weak democratic leader, so there are full chances of Grump winning his next election!
S: There is a calculative move! Grump and other EU countries, along with Israel and UK will shout from the rooftops and blame China for the virus. Chinese scientists thought they manufactured a small toy….and the world has been brought to the knees!!
J: Grump will win elections on this blame China bandwagon. The most affected countries will support Grump. Businesses are pulling out of China.
R: I heard that our local leaders have asked Grump’s administration to repair Pumpwell bridge. Is it because of the siblings of the Virus?
J: Where are you jumping my dear…. from the world scenario to Pumpwell bridge?
S: No, Shetre, it has been in the news since long. Latest news is that the virus has multiplied into several alphabets…like L in Gujarat…m in Mangalore…. U in Udupi…. k in Karkal etc. except L all are disciplined. They are calm. There is a new kind of B virus which is affecting the Pumpwell bridge!!
R: Where did you read this?
S: There is an electronic magazine called V magazine…. circulating on the internet…. It has all the news pertaining to the virus….
R: I know only CNN, Star news, FOX news etc.
M: It is only for us. V magazine is published from Russia. Butin is the Editorial Director. He has also started supporting US and other allies.
J: Isshi jumping wanted to improve Pumpwell bridge. But, now it is not possible. Our leadership is not in talking terms with him.
S: Why Pumpwell bridge again?
J: Because it is an example of the disastrous handling of a project! Chinese managed the Virus through disastrous handling, same happened with Pumpwell bridge!! Ha! Ha!
R: It can be repaired though!!
J: Yes, but, it will take another 10 years….and we are expecting heavy rains this year!
R: It is the best place for drunkards, drug addicts they sit below and have their poisons. Sad, now there is the fear of it crashing!!
J: In Kolkata one bridge crashed, but Samta was silent as a cucumber!!
R: That is because there are many huge bridges there. See Howrah bridge, the longest and mightiest in Kolkata over the Hooghly river. The British architectural marvel.
J: Pumpwell bridge is also a landmark in Mangalore. It was inaugurated with much fanfare and pole started using it with aplomb also!!
J: Are, leave aside Pumpwell bridge…. when will the Karkala to Mangalore via Kaikamba, road will be widened??
M: Post-Grump’s elections it seems!! Sorry for mentioning Pumpwell again!! The Grump’s administration has vowed to repair the bridge and connect it to Calicut and make a huge highway, till Karkala. The bus drivers will not fight henceforth….” Side KorleMarayre!! Etc.”
J: You people do not know, the malaria medicine was given for this purpose…!! Grump did not give ultimatum…. but… indirectly said…. there will be retaliation…it is about the Mangalore Karkala highway and repair and extension of Pumpwell bridge!! Most of them don’t know….
S: What if Grump does not win elections?
J: Both works…. projects will stop!! We will travel like before…” Side KorleMarayere…and all that!”
R: Grump will win definitely!! Pumpwell bridge will be named after him!!
J: I am planning to open a wine shop there…. Grump’s Gadang!! If everything goes well!
M: You will not get permission….name it as “Selanie’s Gadang” instead!!
S: What if the bridge will fall down? Then, there will be total chaos…. great news…. the media will shout from rooftops…and exclaim that…Grump has created panauti.. for the bridge again!!
J: The customers will never say that! A liquor shop below the bridge is a big boon! They can finish their drinks and relieve themselves there itself and go home!
M: What publicity will be needed for this?
J: Simple, call the opposition parties to shout slogans and create a morcha. The ruling party will inaugurate the …I mean bridge. The gadang, I will get it inaugurated by a coolie or a bus conductor…
S: Why them?
J: The bridge is built for the common man…and my gadang is also for the common man. Anyhow, both can be used by anyone!!
R: what is the name you suggest for the bridge?
S: Grump’s pump and wellness bridge!! How does it sound?
J: No…No…it is not correct …what pump?? T should be Grumpwell Bridge…!! Because… the maintenance will be carried out by the US administration…… Kerala government will also contribute…. from Calicut to Kasaragod…it will be a freeway!! The gadang will be anyways, Selanie’s!!
We may have to give royalty!! I have already contacted Maybelline New York for this and also Lakme may chip in!! Free beauty treatment of course!! Anti-ageing creams, treatments etc. Selanie hates wrinkles!!
(The foursome got drunk by then…signaled for food…. they will continue their banter…of course …. tomorrow never dies!! THEY BELIEVE IN JEENA ISI KA NAAM HAI…!!)
(Contd)
(Disclaimer: This is a story of pure satirical fiction and is not related to any living or dead. The names used here are totally fictitious and the conversation is to raise a laugh. The topics are general topics and bear no resemblance to anyone.
There could more information flowing about day to day activities in our lives and will be used to just entertain the readers in this time of duress and undue calamity)