COMIC RELIEF – MINDING ONE’S OWN BUSINESS!!-EPISODE 12

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Donald D'Silva, Karkala, Mira Road
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  • By Donald D’ Silva, Mira Road, Karkala

    Donald D’ Silva is an Advertising Professional & Brand Strategist managing his own Digital Marketing Company in Mumbai. He writes about Current Affairs, Political Analysis, Bollywood Happenings and a variety of Social subjects.

    DO CELEBS HAVE SPECIAL POWERS? ARE THEY THE NEW AGE VANAR TRIBE OR RAKSHASA INCARNATIONS?

    Background:

    (There are four friends who were thick and thin in their childhood. They were inseparable. Now, today they are in their 50 s and late 50s. they regularly get together and make merry as they have made their money and are well settled in their lives. It is the case of jumping early into business and tasting success. Two of them have taken VRS and settled down.)

    1. Jeevan Shetty: He is the owner of three Bar & Restaurants. One in Mangalore and two in Mumbai. A billionaire in his own right. From Karkala.
    2. Sathish Shenoy: He has a cloth store in Moodbidri. He has two veg Restaurants in Mumbai.
    3. Richard Almeida: He has one Bar & Restaurant in Mumbai.
    4. Melvin D’ Mello – He has two night clubs in Mumbai.

    (The four friends again gathered at Jeevan Shetty’s house. Booze flows as the conversation gathers momentum)

    Jeevan: Hello friends! We were a little busy, we met after a long time. How are you all doing?

    Sathish: Yes! We all are busy as there is a bit of relaxation for hotels. Take away service has been started.

    Richard: Some relaxation though! Sitting idle almost killed us. We have to pay staff salaries as well. We have now learnt to live with the virus at least.

    Melvin: Government is getting some revenue, due to the opening of wine shops. Take away service is slowly started flourishing.

    J: Excellent! The world is trying to find some medication or the other. Very soon, this virus will be eradicated.

    However, the last time we stopped at the vanar tribes! Sathish maam, pls enlighten on this tribe. Where they came from and how they were so powerful?

    S: Definitely! But, before that, the strange situation of Pacchanady erupted again. We are facing the same problems. Rains have moderately hit us. Heavy rains are yet to hit us!

    M: Yeah, we have started suffering again. The District administration has failed us again.

    R: It is the same case in Mumbai as well! The Mithi river fiasco and the potholes on the roads. Officials are busy with the tackling of Corona pandemic and here we are, same old problems on the roads, even though there is little traffic.

    J: Vehicles are less, but there is still congestion on the roads, be it our good old Mangalore or Mumbai.

    S: Both ‘M’s are suffering! Our Janm Bhoomi and our Karm Bhoomi!

    R: This time the district minister in-charge has allocated funds and has promised to tackle the Pacchanady problem. Let’s wait and see!

    M: Why can’t we call Grump?

    J: Arre, Melvinbhai, Grump is totally engrossed with winning his next elections which is due in November this year. He again cancelled the H1B visa.

    R: The US has the maximum casualties and still Grump is into dreaming of another 4 years’ mandate!

    M: Republicans are like that! They have the mastery on their people and the world. Remember Reagan, Senior Bush, Junior Bush the so-called ‘Dubya’ and now it is Grump.

    J: US, Israel and the EU countries including Italy, all are very well known for their healthcare innovations, discoveries and finding solutions for any health-related issues, but, still they are struggling!

    S: Because this time Ishhi Jumping has checkmated them very intelligently. There are countries who are suffering the most like Brazil, Russia and the Gulf countries. But, no solution in sight! We Indians and the neighbouring countries as well!

    M: Glenmark of India has done something! Baba Ramdev and his group have tried to hoodwink people again but to no avail!

    R: God knows, what next, even though our death rate is less, but the number of new cases are rising day by day like we also have some strong immunity like the ‘Vanars’, monkey tribe! Ha! Ha!

    J: Again, the monkey tribe entered our conversation, well, Sathish maam, let’s get onto this…also the Rakshasas!

    S: Yes, I am ready. Another subject is about our celebs, like the Vanars, Rakshasas do they have some special powers? Melvin, Richard…what do you say?

    M: I would like to enlighten you guys on that, also Richard, but, let’s hear it out about Vanars first, Sathish maam, shoot….!

    S: Well, Vanars were born and lived at Kishkinda. A place in Hampi. The capital of Vijayanagar, who was ruled by the Vodeyars of Mysore!

    A beautiful historical village with a dramatic landscape, Hampi in Karnataka, can be mapped to Ramayana’s Kishkindha – the kingdom of the Vanara king Sugriva. The kingdom of Kishkindha is said to be a part of the Dandaka forest, which stretched from the Vindhiya mountain range down to the south of India.

    The army of Lord Rama dazzled with valiant monkeys who had appeared to assist Him in His great war against Ravana. Before appearing as, the son of Emperor Dashratha, Lord Vishnu ordered Brahma to instruct all the demigods (devatas) to beget mighty sons through she monkeys. These born monkeys were gallant, swift as the wind, capable of taking any form, skilled in warfare, an expert in policy and possessors of unfathomable strength right from their birth. All the chief demigods begot monkey commanders that were even more glorious than the fathers. Below are a few devatas and their monkey scions, now all carefully listen…..

    The first one is Jambavanta, the son of Brahma. He was a bear!

    The chief bear in the vanar sena, born of Brahma’s mouth as he was yawning. The old king of the bears was always wise and he considered everything carefully and gave the right advice to the monkey army every time.

    Sugriva: The king of the vanaras and a close friend of Lord Rama. He was powerful, intelligent, cultured and true to his promise. His enraged brother Vali who had exiled him for the sake of sovereignty.  Rama killed Vali and made Sugriva the king of Kishkindha and in return the monkey assisted Rama in finding Sita.

    Vali or Bali as he is known in North India.

    Brother of Sugriva. He possessed strength beyond compare. Each day upon rising, Vali, for exercise, would stride from the western to the eastern ocean. He was killed by Lord Rama while engaged in a duel with Sugriva (for his immoral actions of kidnapping Sugriva’s wife and sending him on exile).

     

    Taar: A lesser known monkey. Son of Devguru, Brihaspati.

    A commander in the army & unsurpassed in intelligence among the monkey chiefs

    Nal: The chief architect of the Vanars. Born to the architect of Devaloka, Vishwakarma.The architect of the floating bridge by which Lord Rama crossed over to Lanka. He was granted a boon by Vishwakarma, the gods’ engineer and his father that Nala’s abilities would equal his own.

    J: Who can forget Veer Hanuman, the greatest and toughest of them all!

    S: Yes! I am coming to that.

    Hanuman: The son of Vayu, the god of air.

    The most celebrated devotee and eternal associate of Lord Rama. As a son of Vayu, he possessed great mystic power. He never sought any material favour from the Lord. He always remained engaged in the Lord’s service in every possible way.

    Gandhamadan is the next one. Son of Kubera, the god of wealth.

    A commander in Lord Rama’s army who valiantly fought against Kumbhakarna. Lord Rama personally named Gandhamadan as one of the best monkey warriors when He gave orders for Sugriva’s monkey army to set out to attack Lanka.

    Sushena: Son of Varuna. The rain God. The monkey physician in Rama’s army. Using the herbs brought by Hanuman, Sushena healed Their arrow wounds when Rama and Lakshmana were grievously wounded by Indrajit’s assault. He also treated Lakshman and the others with the celestial remedies after their fierce battle with Indrajit when Indrajit was finally killed.

    M: The list is big! These vanars fought valiantly. Now regarding the Hindi film industry, there are many Vanars and female vanars, Rakshasas and Rakshasis. They are not monkeys, but some are handsome and the females are very beautiful. Some have acted as vamps and some are real-life vamps.

    R: The biggest vanar incarnation is, of course, Salman Khan. The powers he possesses I will talk in a while. The ugliest and crude vanar and rakshasa both is Karan Johar. Who is now famous after a young actor’s suicide case.

    M: The other famous vanar is Shahrukh khan! He rose from a pauper prince to today commanding a net worth of around INR 1500 Cr. The females are endless, Kangana Ranaut, Shilpa Shetty, Aishwarya Rai, Anushka Sharma, Kajol, Rani Mukerjee, Tabu, Bipasha Basu, Sonakshi Sinha, Alia Bhat, Priyanka Chopra, Twinkle Khanna, Kareena Kapoor, Katrina Kaif, etc.

    J: They are good vanarinas. Except for love affairs and some show off, they have not created problems for anyone!

    S: But, how they are possessing those special powers?

    M: That is because they belong to various camps. There are 5 or 7 top camps who are controlling Bollywood. The entire Bollywood is suffering because of them!

    R: Ajay Devgn can be considered as a cool Jambhavanth. The wise bear who does not care about anyone. He has his own mind and manages his personal and professional life very wisely. A no-nonsense person and has a very intelligent head on his shoulders!

    S: No wonder, Kajol is the luckiest wife in Bollywood!

    R: You are right! She is very level headed and is a straight talker. Never minces her words. Her mother Tanuja and Grandmother, Shobhana Samarth, both are superb and powerful vanarinas, who have a great influence on her!

    J: The biggest vanarina, you have forgotten….! Kekta Kapoor! This woman is terrible and controls the TV Industry. Has gotten into film production since a decade as well!!

    S: She is courteous to the media and manages her affairs with people around her very well, but uses the new entrants, the wannabe actors and actresses to her advantage. Makes them work for 20 hours and never pays them in time. Always, creates absurd shows and is a fearless woman, until, of course, till the law will catch up with her one day!!

    J: Who are not monkeys, the vanars in the Bollywood industry then?

    M: There are many, like our own Suniel Shetty, Akshay Kumar, Sonu Sood, Prabhu Deva, Kamal Hassan, Rajnikant, Suriya, Mahesh Babu and endless ones, Bollywood to southern film industry!

    R: Anil Kapoor is the worst bear, but he is not Jhambavanth. Still, looking young at 60 plus age. He is in films for more than 30 years. Another incarnation and a manipulative one. Anil had himself said to Vidhu Vinod Chopra, during his film ‘Parinda’s shoot. He told not to cast Naseeruddin Shah in the role which went to Jackie later. Because there is a saying in the industry. The toughest actor, the talented actor will eat up the co-star, like ‘Khaa Jaayega’!

    J: Means?

    R: Means, the talented actor will eat the scenes like, he will act in such a manner, the audience will find Anil Kapoor pale in comparison with his co-star. Anil Kapoor was very much afraid of Naseer. So, Vidhu cast Jackie Shroff instead. But, to Anil’s utter surprise, Jaggu Dada stole the limelight from right under Anil’s nose and won the Film Fare award for the best actor for his role in ‘Parinda’! Anil was dumbstruck!

    M: Nana Patekar is a nice soul. He is not a vanar. Very down to earth and talented actor.

    R: There are Directors and filmmakers like Rakshasas. One is Sajid Nadiadwala. He is still a suspect in the late Divya Bharati’s suicide. Went scot-free. Dated Tabu and led her to the garden path. Has introduced many new faces, is very manipulative. The worst is Mahesh Bhatt! Has no respect and is a treacherous person. No values in life. He is talented, a brilliant storyteller, director, writer, but the industry allegedly calls him a pervert!

    J: We have heard tales about Mahesh launching new faces and manipulating them and their careers as well!

    S: There have been instances where he appeared on film magazine covers with his daughter Pooja Bhatt on his lap and smooching her!! Audacious behaviour! He is a mad guy!

    M: He has gone to town reportedly, calling himself as “an illegitimate child”, that he was born out of wedlock and his father had kept his mother as a mistress! There are many mad people like him in Bollywood!

    J: Is it because of the limelight or because of the adulation they get?

    S: Both!! There was a time, stars thought they are next to God, till Sunjay Dutt went to jail and cases were filed against Salman Khan!! Now, all the stars fear the law!

    M: The best vanar and court jester is Kapil Sharma!! There is no negative information about him, but his kind of insulting stars and the crowd gathered to watch his shows is still questionable!

    R: There was only a case of assault on his co-star, using his shoes on Sunil Grover. Kapil admitted it. It was on a return flight from Australia, where they had successful shows! Kapil used to drink a lot then! Now, he has quit drinking it seems and also has married and mellowed down!

    J: Let’s wind up friends, feeling hungry. The subject is interesting. Let’s continue tomorrow!

    (All got up and headed towards the dinner table)

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