COMIC RELIEF – MINDING ONE’S OWN BUSINESS!! EPISODE 2
BOLLYWOOD STARS – SUCCESSFUL & FAILURES!!
By Donald D’ Silva, Mira Road, Karkala
Donald D’ Silva is an Advertising Professional & Brand Strategist managing his own Digital Marketing Company in Mumbai. He writes about Current Affairs, Political Analysis, Bollywood Happenings and a variety of Social subjects.
Background:
(There are four friends who were thick and thin in their childhood. They were inseparable. Now, today they are in their 50 s and late 50s. they regularly get together and make merry as they have made their money and are well settled in their lives. It is the case of jumping early into business and tasting success. Two of them have taken VRS and settled down.)
1. Jeevan Shetty: He is the owner of three Bar & Restaurants. One in Mangalore and two in Mumbai. A billionaire in his own right. From Karkala.
2. Sathish Shenoy: He has a cloth store in Moodbidri. He has two veg Restaurants in Mumbai.
3. Richard Almeida: He has one Bar & Restaurant in Mumbai.
4. Melvyn D’Mello: He has two night clubs in Mumbai.
(The four friends again gathered at Jeevan Shetty’s house. Booze flows as the conversation gathers momentum)
Jeevan Shetty: The Bollywood Industry lost a lot of money! Corona ne loss karona kardiya!
M: But, my night clubs are shut also. Golimaro Bollywood ko. There were TV stars who used to frequent my clubs. Now, we don’t know when they can be opened?
R: You have a great lawn in one of your club’s backyard…. Salman Khan ka shaadi ka jashn manao wahan!
J: He will never marry! Lulia and himself with his nephew and friends are at his farm house. Horse riding karrahenhain!! Sangeeta Bijlani se lekar …till today he had many girlfriends…. but, He claims to be a virgin!! Ha! Ha! No marriage!!
But, he does a lot of charity!! Silently!
S: Arre, forget it! Who cares? Ranbir ka sangeet rakte hain…!! Alia is attached. We can see Mahesh Bhat’s snake dance! We will get publicity!
J: All said and done….we lost two great actors! The cancer is killing our stars, like the west. However, one can be careful…. still, it is a mighty disease. Manisha, Sonali, Yuvraj Singh survived…
M: Change the topic yaar!! Now, the film industry will be revived only after December…. All 5-star…3-star hotels will start operating only after Jan 2021. What about people who just got the hotel on lease and then this shut down followed…say, the famous Swagat Bar & Restaurant in Karkal. Just, 15 days passed and there was lockdown…The person who got it for lease did not earn a penny…. all losses….my friend was the front runner for this…I advised him against it…Now, he is all praises for me!!
J: In Mangalore, Mangala hotel is the best!! The pork roast and other delicacies..yummy….Costa Hotel. Fish Market etc…When will the hotels open?
R: Sunil Shetty, also bought a restaurant near Quality Hotel…ran into loss…Mela…Guthu….Madhuvan Restaurant at Yeyyadi….Taj hotel at PVS…Mangalorean food is very popular….!! But, Raheja’s made a big mistake…they launched a project at Suratkal…but no takers!! Initially, Suniel Shetty was the Brand ambassador! Later, he moved on!
J: Who told them to go for Suratkal…? All Mangaloreans, uncles and aunts would like to buy a property in Kadri, Kankanady, Bendore well, Valencia, Yeyyadi and Bondel…of course…. Best is Bondel…. because of the close vicinity to the airport!
S: Once in 2008, Mohtisham builders launched a project called ‘Celebration!” in Mangalore!! It boasted of 5555 flats and total air-conditioned Malls, it was a great township…Aishwariya Rai, Suneil Shetty, Shilpa Shetty all bought flats there…. Then the project went kaput!!
J: Rohit Shetty was not there?
S: He was just embarking on his career. So, he did not have money. His ‘Zameen’ was a flop…Ajay Devgan resurrected his career. ‘4 Golmaals, 2 Singhams, Simmba’ all came later…. He is a hard worker…His is the rags to riches story…
Then, Suryavanshi is yet to be released…. Rohit has done one best thing…He has leased 10 hotels in Mumbai for the police personnel to stay, refreshen themselves…. also he had given a cheque for police fund…through Akshay and Ajay…during Umang function. This year.!!
The dude is great…he never forgets his roots!! At one function in Mumbai…It was the felicitation of Veeru Devganji, the great fight master…. Ajay’s dad. Lifetime achievement award…was bestowed upon him…and the award was given by Rohit Shetty. He fell to senior Devgan’s feet and took his blessings!!
Then, he thanked him…because…without the Devgans, he would not have been where he is today!! Kajol accompanied her pa-in-law…She in her Marathi Bengali twang…. said something…!! Unable to recall…!
J: How kajol became fairer? She was such a kali kalooti when she starred in ‘Baazigar’?
S: Arre, simple yaar, she went for a fairness treatment at Nanavati Hospital near Vile Parle, opposite the private helicopter small airport stretch, Pawan Hans! It’s an injection therapy…She wanted to be fairer! She had no dress sense till 1998…
Then since the millennium year, she hired stylists…the best of designers, Manish Malhotra is her favourite…. then became a beautiful swan from an ugly duckling!! Still. The dialogue delivery is like she is munching a vada pav always…. words struggle to come out of her mouth!!
Helicopter Ela was a celebrated flop!! No movies now…last seen was a cameo role in Tanaji…it made more than 250 crores at the box office!
J: Her mother Tanuja, her aunt Nutan were such some great artistes…her Grandmother Shobana Samarth was a trendsetter…reportedly had a rollicking affair with Motilal and used to smoke in public…. drank heavily…led a bohemian lifestyle…!!
M: Kajol’s dress sense has improved…. She is a bit andhi…!! She can’t see properly without her spectacles…!!
J: But, she is smart, she can see money from a distance!! Always signs good movies…. see the result of ‘Dilwale’ Badhshah Khan and herself…Rohit Shetty directed movie…became a money-spinner!!
M: But, Kajol wielding a gun…. acting as a mafia queen…craziness…. instead of the gun…a jaadu in her hand would have looked nice!! She was looking like a kaamwali Bai throughout the film….
A Kangana Raut would have looked better in a Mafiosi role!! Also, she enacted a role based on Kekta…oops…Ekta Kapoor in her south Indian …Tamil to be precise…. movie (VIP2) …a takeoff on the TV czarina….Ekta…as a top industrialist!! The movie bit the dust…!! the Marathi twang did not register with the audience!! Dhanush was okay in his role…but, Kekta’s character…, Kajol could not carry off properly…!!
J: Because Kekta, is dominant and very head strong…but, she is polite and courteous…!!
Jeetuji has instilled good manners in her!! She gets what she wants…. but…is an outspoken woman…with a strong head on her shoulders…but has good manners…she speaks to the media politely…manages her filmy affairs and other ones with aplomb!! She yells at her staff only!! Her ALT Balaji is doing well!! I had been to her office opposite YRF studios…There is a strange arrangement…there is one lift for only the directors….!! Herself, Mum, Pop, brother and now two surrogate children…their maids that’s all…Others who could enter are…cockroaches, flies, other insects etc.!! No human beings?
R: (He was silent and lost in his own thoughts…. had finished 3 pegs of Chivas by then….) Kekta interested him…! Hello, Shetre, why the duo did not get married? Kekta is single, Tusshar is single…Have child to each…and that too through surrogacy…No boyfriends…no girlfriends…?
J: Kya baat kar raha hai? Richard…!! There are girlfriends and boyfriends…Ha! Ha! The order is different…. you know what I mean? They do not believe in the institution of marriage!! They need heirs to their thrones…. but artificially…however, it’s their lives…who are we to talk about?
S: People get interested, though…. all Kekta’s serials are based on husband. Wife relationship…Saas bahu topics…. now Nagin..from 1 to 4….but…no saas for either of them!! Why? Surprising…but true!!
M: Jeetuji and Shobha must have given lectures at home. But, children are unwilling to listen… They lead their own successful lives and manage their own preferences…. I mean partners in crime!!
J: Kekta is ok! Where is Tusshar’s career? As a goonga, he is there in all 4 franchises of ‘Golmaal’ and some other movies…. No stellar roles…no mardaana voice…. No personality…. face is a mix of Shobha and Jeetu though…but. Looks like a chusa hua aam!! Pun intended!!!
S: Ha! Ha!! Leave him yaar…! Only among the star children, they are successful along with a few of them! Just see, where is Abhishek Bhachan, Suniel Anand,…Dev saab’s son. Boby Deol, Esha deol, Kajol’s sister Tanisha, Shilpa Shetty’s sister Shamita..!….Athiya Shetty…Arbaaz Khan, Sohail khan …..Mehmood’s children….Randhir Kapoor, Chimpu Kapoor, Shashi Kapoor’s sons…Govinda’s daughter..Shakti Kapoor’s son. Shatru’s sons….Sonakshi is wielding the family banner though!! Hats off to her!
Even Twinkle Khanna Kumar! Akshay Kumar had exclaimed on Kapil Sharma’ show once…that out of 13 Movies…. only one was successful…It was Badshah!
Because of Abbas- Mastan…the director duo…The brilliant script and SRK. Of course!! But, Twinkle has carved a niche for herself as a Novelist!! A witty writer in her own right!!
I remember, I was in Dubai with my family watching her debut movie “Barsaat”, A Dharmendra production…. which was just released. We were watching at an open theatre…in Dubai…like the one we had in Rex…at Bandra once…!
Twinkle was such a fatso…. totally plump….! Heavy eating it seems! No diet at all!! The huge screen was filled with only Twinkle and her girth!! No room for Bobby Deol…it was his debut as well!! Twinkle’s thunder thighs…her fat figure…. poor dialogue delivery…no expression in her eyes…!! Acting in sleep!! If we call it acting, then…the beggars in local trains…street urchins act better everywhere!! Poor Girl…. she got to know of her bearings. Only after 13 movies!! Surprising…She is the daughter of the Erstwhile superstar. The phenomenon…Rajesh Khanna and Dimple Kapadia!!
Anyways, poor Rinke her sister….fled from the scene…” We still remember is…the hummable song. Musu must haasi….Dil Mein lai..lai…Musu must hasi lai!! With Dino Morea in an unforgettable movie. Also….Usne bola Khem che…Main ne bola Aimche…..neend nahin aati hai raaton mein….yeh to premche….bapu prem che…prem che..!! with the irrepressible Govinda!! Now, she needs to be traced……totally faded away…Both the daughters got their father’s fortunes!!…250 cr each. For Dimple Kapadia- Khanna….” Babaji ka Tullu!!.
Rakesh Roshan’s daughter Sunaina..(Last heard was, she was fighting for increase in pocket money..poor girl, she was paid only a paltry sum of 50 k per month by her father. The BPO executives earn more than that!!
Hrithik and Rakesh have crores with them….Sunaina is pleading for money…why? Allegedly…Susanne Khan walked with more than Rs 200 cr as alimony given by Hrithik post her divorce….Sunaina is penniless….He mother also not kind to her….strange!!
M: The Bollywood industry is strange…. Totally unpredictable….just see….Farhan and Zoya are very successful…but….except Sunny Deol..other Deols bit the dust!
Sunny’s son Karan also was not accepted by the audience!! Meghna has talent in her genes…inherited by her parents!! There is a huge line up of star children…who are failures, not only in their Bollywood journey…but…also in any endeavour they took on!! Just see….Manoj Kumar (Mr Bharat’s ) son…Kunal…
His movies were flops…he started fast food restaurants in Delhi…was having an affair with the erstwhile biscuit king’s wife…who died in Tihar jail…yeah..! You remember…Rajan Pillai..ex- Britannia boss….His wife Nina Pillai was with Kunal, it was reported widely in the media! Then, no idea…. where the couple have gone?
R: Why Ekta Kapoor is named Kekta?
J: Her all serials and movies, except a few are named starting with the ‘K’ alphabet. So, she is Kekta!!
I have once seen Jeetuji, munching on Crab and prawns at Mahesh Lunch home at Juhu…diagonally opposite Amitabh’s bungalow.’ Jalsa”. It was a promotional video!! He loves our Mangalorean delicacies!! He likes Kori Rotti also!! When He was shooting in Hyderabad, a Taj hotel there had named a veg thali as …’Jeetendra Thali’! For 10 months in a calendar year, He was there shooting for his south remakes in Hindi.” starting from Himmatwala..to….Tohfa…..immunerable films!
S: The film industry is doing a great deal of charity to the COVID relief PM fund. “ Accha hai…Accha hai…” Nana Patekar would have said!! Starting from Salman, Akshay, Ajay Devgan, Rohit Shetty, Suniel Shetty, Hritik Roshan, Amitabh Bhachan, Amir Khan, Shah Rukh Khan and other innumerable stalwarts….the charity drive is overwhelming!!
J: The Bollywood stars are really lending a mighty helping hand to the Covid PM fund!! Hats off to them!!
Guys, as we were on a Chivas trip, our team of cooks have prepared delicacies same as Mangala Hotel, in Valencia…. Let’s attack the food…but. Not like Amitabh and his six brothers as in “ Satte Pe Satta’!! …
(All of them headed to the dinner table)
(Contd…)