At the very outset I would like to clear any uncertainty my title may bring. I am not trying to define happiness with this one on the contrary as this article or piece or whatever it may be called unfolds I am myself trying to look into what that ultimate happiness is or what it SHOULD be.
Last week I went into a beauty parlour, spent a couple of hundreds on my hair, a couple of it on my face another couple on my arms and leg and bought happiness???.or so I thought.
Came back home looked into the mirror, admired myself and went to sleep. The morning after began promisingly; as I was returning from my morning walk the shop-keeper next door gave me an approving look and made small talk too. That set the tone for the day. Later in the morning when I was walking to the office my feet didn’t seem to touch the ground. Exactly like a scene out of the ‘closeup’ ad shown on the television. I could sing like in the ad just as well. All rise The Queen Bee Arrives was to be the order of the day. (It also helps living in a relaxed, small-time city. There is not much competition from other entrants. Hence little is more, here. Nah! I am being modest to take the focus off of me. JUST KIDDING guys. I have no misgivings about my less than plain appearance)
Focus, focus people; come back to the point. Well, then my eyes saw something that would change everything. Ha! Ha! I am sure you are curious by now. Ok, ok, it was a Friday and a Muslim father taking his two sons on a joy ride on his bicycle – that must have witnessed the family?s trials and tribulation for many a decades, after their morning Namaz. (Now, It is just subjective that it had to be a Muslim family returning from Mosque. It may as well have been a Hindu trio returning from their pooja or a Christian threesome returning from their Mass. Meaning I am secular lest someone pull me up for it) The man in question looked older than he actually was and the children wearing white Punjabi suits that looked more brown than white to me.
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….it never is about what you don’t have, it is always about what you make out of what you have….
No, No, the bicycle, the three figures on the bicycle was not my point of focus at all. My point of focus was their faces. Oh! How happy the kids looked on the bicycle, sucking on their candies and how happy the father looked seeing their children flash that million dollar smile. I was thinking: “and I went to the parlour yesterday and spent a fortune because??? Why did I? Did I really think that I could bargain for that kind of bliss? How dare I even try do it?”
We, the middle class, the salaried class, or whatever fancy name we are identified with, run behind materialistic things and we get it too and yet we are not satisfied. For us more is less, why, MOST is less. When we have a bicycle we see and conquer the motorbike, then the motorbike turns into a compact car, a compact car into a midsize car and so on. I bet we wouldn?t be satisfied with a private chopper. Didn’t you hear Amitabh Bachchan say in ‘Khabhi Khushi Kabi Ghum’: he gets down from his chopper and turns around and looks at it admiringly and goes “hmmm! Cool machine. We must buy another 10 of those.” Why? Other people flying by you on their choppers are going to look at you and say: “Hey! You were on the same chopper yesterday; it stinks of sweat; for heaven sakes change it everyday?”
There is this saying in Hindi that goes: “Khabhi Kisiko Mukammil Jahan Nahin Milta; Kahin Zameen Toh Kahin Aasman Nahin Milta.” Translated it simply means “No one gets to live in a perfect world; some don?t get enough earth and some enough sky.” It is not, it never is about what you don’t have, it is always about what you make out of what you have. Happy are those who know the world really for what it is cause they are happy living within themselves. Their happiness doesn’t cost too much. It is we who are at odds with our own happiness. We teach our kids to be dissatisfied with themselves; you got less marks than him, bad, bad, boy. The way to go would be to get better marks than him. This life lesson extends to other areas of life. I don?t need to elaborate it further. Those who want to disagree with me are in denial, forgive them.
Yesterday I took my little cousins to a fare with all this joy rides and stuff. The little ones didn’t want to get on the bigger rides. They wanted only easy one. I squeezed through the queue and got them to sit on one ride, then another one and then another. When we moved on to the fourth ride, which was the most favourite among the kids, it was very difficult to get through, and a couple of imps bypassed my turn also. Then I decided to take a tough stand, enough of this ‘I Love Kids’ resolution of mine, the next kid who would push me had it from me. And as I had decided I caught the next girl who was trying to push me and get closer to the ride and said I: “hey! Wait your turn. Haven’t your parents taught you anything at all?” The girl must have been around 7 or 8, clad in HER best, blue salwar suit. She gave long hard look and moved back. Then the ride went on well for my cousins, I got them down and were trying to settle the merry-go-round giddiness when I saw this familiar figure in blue salwar. I thought I would be undoing my earlier harshness when I said to her: “now you can go, it is your turn; you were pushing me earlier and now you are letting others go past you. How does that work?” She is this allecky, street-smart kid who says: “what? did you think I was trying to steal your turn? My father didn’t even have enough money for both of us to enter, he bought me my ticket and sent me in and will be waiting for me in an hour at the exit. I was just trying to get a closer look and try to feel how it is to actually ride one. I don’t even feel like riding them. I have asked a couple of them and they didn’t like it too much and I have seen some throwing up. I don’t need that mess on my dress. I am just enjoying their ups and downs”. Yeah! You guessed it! I didn?t know where to push my face. I hurriedly moved away with my embarrassed red face for fear of her recognizing me the minute she saw me elsewhere. The best thing would have been to offer her a ride, on me, but I didn’t. I don’t know if I was right or wrong in doing that. I just didn’t do it. Now my excuse would be that I didn?t want to belittle her. And how could I have offered her a ride? She had already given me a ride and FREE OF COST at that.
Here I was trying to get my cousins to enjoy every ride, even the ones that didn’t interest them. And then the blue salwar??. Haunts me. But what do I do about it? This is not the first time I have felt compassionate about the underprivileged, I have always felt it, right here, in my heart. But have I done anything about it? My thought as opposed to their ACTION is what separates me from them, the Brave. The Brave SEE, FEEL and TRY TO REPAIR if not completely repair. For me it is always, SEE, FEEL for a couple of days but don’t forget to go back to your world where you buy happiness even if it is pseudo.
I am proud to say that I have little friends who are rag pickers. I saw one of them on my morning walk. He called out to me, we hadn’t met in a while. Earlier he used to come by the house to beg. Then as he grew up a little he must have felt embarrassed to beg so he took up A PROFESSION ? rag picking (how lucrative!). I just tried to be courteous; I said: “where to, so early in the morning?.” He said matter-of-factly : “to pick where else?.” I thought I heard a loud laughter in his mind: “HOW BRIGHT asking me such a sitter.” Because he also had a sack on his back, a picture-perfect rag picker to a naked eye.
Like I said in the beginning, as I write this I am trying to tell myself that action, action my friend is the key. NOT THOUGHT. I am hoping someone holds me to it. That someone asks me everyday, what have you DONE today to change the world for the less fortunate? You don’t have to do big things, inspire one little dropout to get back to school. You may not be able to change their lives dramatically overnight. Atleast educate (as in awareness) them to secure their future the best tool to give anyone. After all empowerment is all about helping someone to help themselves. You don’t have to see to all the expenses. Get him/her admitted to a Government school which is essentially for children like those, where education does not cost a dime. Just give him/her a little time from your schedule. You don’t have to wait for the Government to take all the initiative.
God has given me so many signs and wished I would: THANK HIM, THANK HIM, THANK HIM??.. Thank him not as in “thank you lord, you have given me all those things to enjoy and waste all the things that those unfortunate urchins cannot dream of.” In HIS world “THANK YOU” means: USE A FRACTION OF WHAT I HAVE GIVEN YOU TO MAKE LIFE A LITTLE BETTER FOR THOSE UNFORTUNATE. THAT IS GRATITUDE TO ME. LOOK AROUND YOU I HAVE MADE A PERFECTLY BALANCED CREATION BY GIVING YOU MORE RESOURCES AND THEM MORE WORRIES. THE IDEA WAS FOR YOU BOTH TO SHARE IT EQUALLY. BUT UNFORTUNATELY YOU HAVE MISCALCULATED IT COMPLETELY.
And I couldn?t for the life of me figure out why I repeatedly failed mathematics. Dah!
I know that many of you, like me, have the thought but not enough courage to actually put it into action. Come lets start something. I don?t have to lay out a plan for you or tell you what or how. You know exactly what to do. May the BRAVEST of us take the initiative and hold us to our due part. And then tell me if it doesn’t become your defining happiness, if you don’t get sleep as soon as you hit the pillow, if you don?t spend the day with a bright smile all day long. Prompting people around you to wonder! What is going on? But I want to have that bliss too.
Author: Rashmi Diana- India
