No! A powerful two-lettered monosyllable. Two consecutive letters of the alphabet that when put together can mean a lot more than pages of prosaic literature. A word that has the brute power to break a million hearts. A word that has the prudent power to end an incessant argument. A word that was one of the first entrants in our vocabulary. A word that is so easy to use, but so difficult to use in the right sense. Am I trying to read too much into this word? No, I hope not.
What set my mind thinking about this word and its capabilities (or should I say incapability) was the difficult situation that my sister suddenly faced. Her mother-in-law-to-be had requested her to have her nose pierced so that she could sport a beautiful nose-ring on the wedding day. Now, my sister had for long turned a ?deaf ear? to her mother’s request for getting her nose pierced. The reason she had given her mother, “No way. A nose ring does not look good on me.” A simple No with a simpler but logical reason, which would make anyone agree with her decision. But now when she had to say the same seemingly harmless ?No? to her mother-in-law-to-be she just could not. “What would she think of me? Would she think that I am being arrogant? Would she feel hurt that I rejected her request without giving it a second thought? Would my fianc?e?” I cut her midway ?What happened to the logical reason that you had given Mom, don’t you think the same should work in this case too?” The straight answer I got, “No! It doesn’t work that way. This case is different.” So I sat down and started musing over why it was so difficult for some of us to use this word during specific instances. And did I get the answer? No! I didn’t, or else I wouldn’t be penning (keying) my thoughts. Now I ask you all, how many of you Know to No, and to No successfully. Friend, it is not difficult to say No but can you No without an undesirable aftermath. So I ask you, Dear?
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A word that has the prudent power to end an incessant argument. A word that was one of the first entrants in our vocabulary….
Dear Young Daddy/Mummy, do you know to say No to your kid when he asks for a toy (that is so close to his heart, literally, just watch him hug a toy when he goes to sleep) because you cannot afford it. Maybe you can say it, but do you know to No without making him cry and wail and go to sleep crying?
Dear Mother, do you know to say No to your college-going daughter when she wants to party all night (because you think it is not healthy for her) without making her retire to her room where she would starting sniffling and stay hungry for the rest of the night. Do you know how to do that, Mom?
Dear Husband, do you know how to say “No, I cannot be back home by 7” to your lovely wife and still get “hot steaming” food and more importantly a smiling face when you get back home by 11. Just for kicks, let’s make that your anniversary day too.
Dear Buddy, do you know how to say No when a girl proposes to you and still take care that she is not hurt or does not go home feeling lousy. Now that is difficult, isn’t it?
Dear Buddy, I have a second one for you. Do you know how to say “No, it isn’t you” when your girl-friend-to-be asks you, “Who is the most beautiful girl that you have met?” and still keep her smiling through the rest of the dinner.
Dear Software Yuppie, do you know how to say No to your customer’s impossible demands without having him question your integrity or your commitment.
Dear Manager, can you say “No, I don’t know” to people (students) working under you when they pose before you, a trivial problem for which you don’t know the answer and still not feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Dear Macho man, do you have the guts to say No when those few insane friends of yours dare you do something crazy (crazy enough to cause you possible harm) without losing your machismo.
And then, I finally ask the question to myself, “Can I say No in each of the above situations and still achieve the desired result?” The answer from the top of my mind, “I can. All I need to do is look into the other person’s eye and say No straight from my heart and follow it up with the logical reason and I am done.” Then I stop for a second and analyze the situations again and I realize how wrong I am. My answer would not work for even one of the above situations. So where does that leave me? I know not how to No. Do you, my friend? If you do, then maybe you should just tell all of us.
And as I end the piece, another thought strikes me. Having talked of No for such a long time, it is inevitable that I bump into his Siamese twin brother. Yes, who else. Now, how easy is it to say “Yes”. Must be a lot easier. It’s a bigger word, better sounding, has a pleasant hissing sound to it, and creates a feeling of agreement and harmony when it is used. It must surely be a lot less difficult to “Yes” than to No. But then, is it? No! I don’t know, you tell me. I rest my case (my sister’s, rather). To just finish off my sister’s story, what did she finally do? Did she say a “Yes” or a No? Well, she said a “Yes” to her mother-in-law-to-be and she now tells me, “I am happy about it.”
Author: Vandana Rao- USA
