?Till the day I die and afters too, I will never forgive my inlaws, my husband and others who have ditched me in this marriage? ? these are the words which ring in my ears uttered to me by my friend who felt that all her dreams were shattered after her marriage.
The above example made me ponder on the fact how we have failed to understand the gift of forgiveness from generation to generation. Many homes could have been saved from being partitioned, if only each one of us practiced the art of forgiveness. When we do not forgive the other, hatred crawls into our body and mind like a poisonous snake moving around unnoticed and killing us unaware. It is high time this generation takes to heed the virtue of willingness to forgive and forget, this would help heal many family problems.
Forgiveness to me means that we erase the feeling of hate for the other within ourselves and thus stop living a life of painful torment. Hate is an emotion just like love is. Forgiveness is the greatest gift of love which you can give to another, as well as yourself. When you forgive another, we set them free to be who they were meant to be. It also helps us to have a clear head, heart and vision because you release the anger, negativity and disappointment that may have been a part of the relationship.
Thus you can live with more peace, satisfaction and fulfillment. It can be used to heal our relationships with others. The essence of forgiveness lies in acceptance, not resisting what is. It is a deep sense of acceptance and love in our heart.
Non-forgiveness is caused by non-acceptance of self, God and nature. Non-forgiveness leads to various negativities such as jealousy, hatred and pride. We are unable to forgive is because in our opinion the other person has done the wrong and hence should not go free without punishment. Most of us refuse to forgive another because we do not see the genuiness in the person who is asking for it.
But who are we to judge the other?s sincerity? In the bargain this unforgiveness leads to our ill health, loss of peace of mind as well as physical and emotional unrest. Best thing to do is to resolve it soon and move on. This is real wisdom, real spirituality, which in returns gives us peace, contentment and joy. When we forgive, we must wipe all hurt feelings from all our records so that we do not throw it up again at a next opportune time.
Just because our ancestors had not been so enlightened with the aspect of forgiveness and have gone with all animosity in their heart, it does not mean that we remain cold to this age old aspect, it is high time that this generation will take the initiative to spread the fragrance of forgiveness now toward one with whom they have had a misunderstanding, tomorrow may be too late.
Author: Paskaline Dsouza- UAE