Happy Father’s Day

“To all those who used our competitor’s products- Happy Father’s day!”

The creative brains for a world leader in male contraceptives have summed up the essence of this day, in perhaps, one of the catchiest advertising slogans ever. Advertising lingo that simply shows who calls the shots? even procreative ones at that. Did some one say Father?  Bingo!

Dear Reader, This article does not intend to strike a gender revolution and kick up a melee. It is purely the figment of imagination of the writer, hence may border on fiction at times. So if you have any pent up feelings, take a deep breath, relax and read on.

Fatherhood- Think of the stereotyped imagery of a FATHER of the yesteryears-

He was an awesome power center, he ruled. No decisions were made without his consent. “Ask your father”, you could hear the mother scream to her children, almost helplessly. He sired and he fired. He slogged and he hogged. He did not learn these in books or in marriage courses; it was an innate trait that seemingly came to life when he heard the first wail of his creation. He was proud and vain; the world at home revolved round HIM. He was the quintessential FATHER. The vanity was a make-over act for a human being that wanted to be at the helm of things always. He was destined to rule, one might have thought! He might have been a loving father at times, but an apology of sorts when compared to the Mother. He cared too, but the fear of his presence was overwhelming enough.

If a ‘Mother’ evoked sympathy, compassion and love, the ‘Father’ was a heady mixture of awe, fear (or was it respect), power (brutal at times) and self-ordained glory.

Has Fatherhood evolved over the ages? Does the modern day child still see the Father in the same light? Does today’s father exercise such a stranglehold over the family? I choose not to mull over these unending flow of questions, would rather leave it to the readers to answer.

Having lost Dad at a tender age of eight, memories of my father will not make up for a few sentences, let alone an article on Fatherhood!

Dad was self-made man, outspoken and a very successful banker of his times. A chain- smoking, immaculately dressed and handsome man in every sense of the word. A husband to a beautiful wife and a father to four children (three credits and a debit ? basic banking terms), he was someone the whole family and the ilk looked up to.

He passed away when he was a dashing 32, leaving behind a distraught wife who was just 29 then and four children to fend for themselves. It’s been Mom’s show all the way since then.

She played with great aplomb, the natural role of the Mother, a working woman (a banker herself) and strikingly enough the Father too. We rarely missed our father!

The only time of the year when we might have missed him, was during his death anniversary- May 31st. The world celebrates this day every year as ‘No tobacco day’, a fitting tribute to another young life that was lost to the perils of smoking.

It might seem an exaggeration, but when we had to find a photograph for his obituary we found none without Dad and his trade mark Cigarette! We finally had to get a portrait painted minus the white killer-stick.

Pardon that little digression, emotions do run on higher decibels when one tends to ruminate over the years that went by.

As I sit back and think of Mom’s role in our upbringing, I am forced to believe that the term ‘Fatherhood’ can no longer be relegated to just the male bastion! It would have seemed more apt to save this ode for a Mother’s day piece, but I chose Father’s day instead!

You might agree or refute, even condone this audacity of mine- the choice’s purely yours.

I have donned the mantle of Fatherhood now. Our little son, all of two years, seems to have no fear of me whatsoever. My wife still plays the age-old, time tested formula of “Should I call Dada now?”, as she fails yet again in her attempt to scare him. Will I be able to play a doting father? Will I be able to move out of the staccato views that I hold about Fatherhood? Questions that will be answered only by time?..

Happy Father’s day to all those wonderful Fathers out there (this includes Single Mothers too) and if you belong to the ‘Not- so- wonderful’ category, it’s high time you did a face-lift and moved up the ladder. I, meanwhile am standing at the base of the steps- for me there is only one way, it reads UP!

To all those who are still pondering over whether I was influenced by the advertising slogan, my guess is as good as yours. The advertisers just got richer. Hurry! Offer open still ‘storks’ (stocks) last.

Author: Amarnath Bantwal- Kuwait