Can someone please stand up and explain to me what is it with this mother-in-law and daughter-in-law stuff? These are two sets of women having problems with each other. Why don’t you hear about mother-in-law and son-in-law or daughter-in-law and father-in-law? -Because they deal with men, that?s why!
Women have definitely changed a lot! Catholic.net says that over 70% of all divorces are initiated by women. What are the issues that make today?s women so different than in the past? Why are today’s women so keen on destroying the very fabric of our society? Here are some issues they need to know.
In-laws: Is it possible that a wife can love and respect her spouse and not love and respect his parents? Put it any way you want- in-laws are an important factor in marriages. She is faced with a choice -despise your in-laws and kiss your marriage goodbye or try to get along with your in-laws to build your marriage. Lets face it, if you have a problem of getting along with someone the problem is not with them its with YOU! We are not like Israelis and Palestinians. We can ALL get along.
Some women have the audacity to point out a bible verse that “When a man marries, he leaves his family and joins his wife and the two become one..? etc. That refers to a family unit not physical seperation. Besides, 100 years ago there were joint families not nuclear families like now, like in many of our traditional rural societies. My neighbors in India have 3 joint families living under the same roof. Do today’s women think that these women are any less than them? Some women point out to interference from in-laws. Nothing is farther from the truth. If a man does not get love from his family (i.e. his wife, especially when she treats his parents so badly), he will seek love from the only other family he knows – his mother, father and siblings.
Mother-in-law: Let’s face it, its a cycle – wives will one day become a mother-in-law who will then treat their daughter-in-law the same way they were treated by their mother-in-law? It?s a women thing! Mother-in-law is extremely important -why? Because they are mothers and mother’s love is different. If any of you have kids you will know what I mean. And because they are elders, they deserve and must be shown respect. Kind of like being respectful to any elder. If a daughter -in-law has a problem with respecting her mother-in-law it also means that she has no respect for elders.
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We are all different, we all think and act differently. What is strange for you might be perfectly acceptable to some.
Generation gap: Mothers-in-law are older than you. There IS a generation gap just like your parents. They think old and conservatively. Encourage your mother to keep in touch with your Mother-in-law as they are in the same age group. It will build up your marriage.
Differences: We are all different, we all think and act differently. What is strange for you might be perfectly acceptable to some. Hello! We are on planet earth! It is foolish to expect your mother-in-law to be like your mother! Please take the time to know and understand your Mother-In-Law. For heaven’s sake your parents will always be there for you. They will never run away. But you need to build up your relationship with your Mother-In-Law just as you are building your relationship with your spouse.
Gossip: Some Women love to gossip. They will add more masala to almost everything. They would search high and low to add more masala to their already boiling hatred. The most powerful weapon is the tongue! These hatreds spread along to other daughter-in-laws with the same issue or daughters in law to be and finally to their own daughters, which will ensure the next generation of hatred of Mother-In-Law’s! What is even more infuriating is that these lies and half-truths are taken as truths to add even more insult to injury. They will not bother to verify the facts before passing it on. But will continue to add more and more masala. There are always two sides to every story and a little learning is a very dangerous thing indeed.
Pride: I don’t care if your husband hit you, your mum tried to kill you, doesn?t care for you, his parents treat you like hell, your life is a living hell or whatever. That is still not enough reason to leave him. As far as I know, I heard you say loud and clear “promising to love him … for better or for worse.. till DEATH do you part”. Were you asleep when you said those things? You cannot break your marriage vows. If you wanted such clauses put in your marriage contract. You should have spoken to the priest prior to saying them. He would have thrown you out, of course!
Love: The greatest commandment in Christianity is to love one another. How can you love if you have so much of pride? How could you possibly call yourself a Christian, in the first case? As a Christian our main goal is to ensure a society that loves one another. By harboring and spreading hatred especially, for in-laws. We are destroying the very heart of a marriage, which will eventually lead to the destruction of an entire society.
Children: I know of women who decide not to have children because they are unhappy with their spouse or feel that the spouse would not make a good father or as a means of leaving their husband without having any baggage around or to spite his parents. I find it disgusting and selfish that they are now using their bodies for this purpose.
Conclusion: Today?s women must bring up their daughters in humility and love and be especially taught to love their in-laws. Todays media is propagating these hatreds and its only a matter of time before women initiate over 90% of divorces.
Author: Collins Lewis- USA
