Longing and Belonging

Oh my Lord, I long for a little pat on my back, a word of appreciation, I long for a hug, I long for love!!!   Would these, when received, bring in me a sense of belonging ? belonging to someone, to somewhere, to something?

Humans that we are, the feeling of isolation and abandonment is never new to us.  One might believe that it is ?a piece of cake? to be a social animal; by social I mean someone who finds it easy to socialize.  But underneath this makeover of socializing do we see the urge that necessitates this?

Loneliness and seclusion often makes us recluse.  Though we do not intend to live a hermit?s life, we are left with no alternative.  Our own people ? those with who we spend the most of our day leave us in a state of seclusion.  But why??  Our own society forces us to take stern decisions.

These decisions are just those that we make to prove a point to the very society that makes us feel ‘you do not belong here unless you change yourself’.

Coming from a Mangalorean Catholic Konkani family is something that one prides up on.  But when it matters do we really live up to the demands?

Do we always prove to outsiders that we are something different? Well.. then how different are we?  Are we the good Samaritans?  Are we able to make a difference to someone in those teeny weeny things that we do here and there?

One gesture comes to mind ? a hug! A hug can be a personal touch you can bestow upon someone. A hug is a symbol of belonging and feeling belonged to.  A hug is a gift that we can part with at no expense.  Then where is the hug that I so long to receive? Why isn?t it possible for me to hug someone when I want to? Is a third person watching me hugging? What would be their reaction? What would they say if they see me in an embrace with someone, especially someone of the opposite sex?

Longing to belong to someone is conventional.  The truth is that we are too petrified of the ramification of expressing our feelings freely and are willing to be bound by the shackles of fear and anxiety.  Let go off the anxiousness and apprehension of not pleasing those watchful eyes and let us take that most important step towards living our lives based on freedom of speech and expression.  Life will be as beautiful as it can be when we achieve this.

Author: Melwyn Vaz- UK