Married & Lived Happily Thereafter! Vintage Couples Shared their Love Stories on VALENTINE’S DAY 2024. And one of the Couples Oliver and Ms Gladys Pereira, of Bejai, Mangaluru, featured in this article, and for Gladys it’s a Double Celebration- Valentine’s Day and Birthday Day, because she was born on 14 February
Mangaluru: On 14 February, being the VALENTINE’S DAY 2024, Team Mangalorean took a spin through history’s greatest lovers— star-crossed, cursed, life-long, and everything in between. Love is a powerful emotion. Throughout history, couples in love have caused wars and controversy, created masterpieces in writing, music, and art, and captured the hearts of the public with the power of their bonds. From the allure of Cleopatra to the magnetism of the Kennedys, to Bollywood’s Bachchan’s, these love affairs have stood as markers in history. And here we present a few of our local vintage “LOVE BIRDS” who have remained faithful and truthful to each other even after 4-5 decades of their wedded life and were happy to share their secret of happy married life, with the present generation, where many newly wedded couples have broken up within a year, few months, a month and in some cases within a DAY? Prepare to swoon over these love stories of the decades.
Quoting Helen Keller “What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”-Today, Valentine’s Day means different things to different people. For new romantic interests and for long-married couples, it may remain a day to exchange tokens of affection like flowers, candy, or cards. But there are many more ways to show the people you care about how much they mean to you. Especially for seniors who have lived long and full lives, love is not confined to just a romantic partner. It expands boundlessly to extended families, many friends, and even the acquaintances they interact with every day who make their lives happier.
Even pictures and warm memories of loved ones who have passed can bring seniors a sense of joy and contentment. Valentine’s Day is our cultural reminder to enjoy a loving state of mind. Gratitude is one of the most important gateways to a loving state of mind. Like Saint Mother Teresa said, “Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.” Team Mangalorean with a smile, met a few of our local Love Birds in their sixties & Seventies who were all in smiles to share their memories of Happy Married life to be incorporated in Mangalorean.com.
Everyone can experience senior love, whether you have been married for decades, widowed, single, or dating. Marriage is hard. Everyone from Academy Award-winning actors to your hair stylist to the supermarket clerk in telling newlyweds this. Of course, they rarely have a helpful answer for how to overcome the difficulties. Newly married couples get a lot of “never go to bed angry,” and “always tell the truth.” And that’s it. However, with our senior love birds featured here, they all have a different kind of story to tell -so enjoy!
OLIVER PEREIRA and Ms GLADYS PEREIRA:
My husband, Oliver, and I recently celebrated 40 years of marriage. Ours was an arranged match, and as with most arranged marriages, our love blossomed after the wedding. Oliver’s quiet demeanour, coupled with his resilient personality is something I respected since day one. I have never seen a man more hardworking than Oliver. “Work is worship” is his mantra, and “never say never” is something he swears by. While Oliver worked and managed the plantation and transport businesses, I kept the home running and held the reins as the home minister, supporting Oliver in all his endeavours. Together, we have built a beautiful home and raised two lovely children: a daughter, Pearl Megan Pereira, married to Royden Charles Aranha, residing in Seoul, South Korea, and working for Samsung, and a son, Daniel Marsh Pereira, married to Salome Lobo Pereira, both practicing Chartered Accountants in Mangalore. They’ve recently been blessed with a baby girl.
My message to future generations is that marriage isn’t easy, love isn’t easy, and living together is far from being rosy. As with any relationship, marriage takes a lot of effort, patience, commitment, perseverance, and prayer! Most importantly, it takes courage to love your spouse each day and accept each other for who you are! It is a choice one must make each day, to celebrate one’s marriage despite any circumstances and forgive any shortcomings. My prayer is to see many couples celebrating long, beautiful years of marriage. Here’s wishing everyone a very happy Valentine’s Day!! May God bless us all.
KRISHNAPPA P and Ms RADHAMANI P:
Krishnappa P, aged 86, married to Ms Radhamani P, age 80, have been married for 64 years, and have lived a happy married life, and are proud parents of a Son and Daughter, who are settled well in life. Having worked at KIOCL as an Operator and mechanic for nearly 20 years, he then worked as a Foreman for Canara Workshop in Baikampady, after retirement became a full-time environmentalist, and is actively involved in environmental-related projects benefiting the society, and has been awarded/felicitated many times for his nobel service connected with green and environment. He was also conferred with the Rajyotsava Award recently. He gives talks on topics related to the environment and nature.
His wife is a homemaker, and the couple are proud parents of a Son- Santhosh, working in Hindustan Liver (HUL), married and has a daughter, Ms Shradddha pursuing her studies in London; and Krishnappa’s daughter Ms Vasanthi, married to Pundalika Kamath, working in Union Bank, and they having a son-Praveen Kamath, working for Motilal Shares Company- and Praveen married to Ms Pavithra, having a son and daughter. Kamath’s other son, Vasanth Kamath is a marine engineer.
Krishnappa says, ” Our long married life is due to mutual understanding, no big fights instead petty quarrels lasting for a few minutes (which is natural) and we trusted and helped each other during times of hardships. Our advice for the present married couples is – If you get involved in an argument or a quarrel, settle it within yourselves soon, because problems do arise in married life, which need to be worked out between husband and wife; adjust yourselves and understand each other, which will last your married life forever. Living together requires consideration and care, recognising mistakes and apologising sincerely.
Newly married couples should follow their way of life by being loyal to each other, having mutual understanding, sacrifices, give and take policy, settling problems if any in a peaceful manner- and “If we could handle our married life for such long years so happily, you too can do it. Have patience which is very much needed these days; understand and respect each other; console each other in times of problems or distress; build love and commit to it forever; be courteous and grateful; Don’t expect perfection; and don’t go to bed angry!.’
SHANTHA KUMAR and Ms USHA S KUMAR:
My journey began as a young bride with dreams and excitement. Adjusting to a new life in Bhopal was hard, but my husband supported me through the complexities of marriage and adulthood. We faced joys and hardships together over the years. His dedication to his work at BHEL inspired me to respect his commitment to our family. Our bond grew stronger, and we found comfort in each other.
We were blessed with a beautiful family. We became parents to wonderful children and raised them with love and guidance. We also faced challenges, but we overcame them together. My husband’s support and encouragement gave me strength and confidence. I also found my own path professionally. I pursued my interests and hobbies while being a homemaker. I volunteered in the community and honed my skills. I felt fulfilled beyond the roles of wife and mother. My husband cheered me on, always pushing me to explore my potential.
The story of Usha S. Kumar is not over yet, with new chapters waiting to unfold. My advice to the next generation is to cherish every moment of your journey, to support each other through thick and thin, and to never stop learning and growing. You have the power to create your own story, and to make it a beautiful one.
MANOHAR AMIN and Ms SHOBHNA AMIN:
My name is Shobhna, I worked as a Lecturer in English in Roshni Nilaya, Mangalore for three decades and enjoy music, art, and social work. I am married to Manohar Amin who is a businessman and is passionate about cricket. We have two children. Marriage to me is two adults who have come together by a strange twist in time and space. To make it or break it is in our hands alone. It was in 1984 that I met my life partner. We speak different languages, our food habits, culture, and traditions differ, but, somehow after we met each other and over a period felt we should marry. It was in 1986 that we got married. To me, everything was alien except for the silent man beside me.
We are opposites in every way. He likes quiet and is a man of few words. His early letters to me were like telegrams while mine had everything from the bus I missed to my work gossip. To me, this is one of the charms of our relationship. To get into each other’s worlds, explore, accept, and be accepted.
Our marriage was not an easy one as there were many adjustments, learning new things and getting the families to in some way endorse our marriage, after marriage, we lived in a joint family. It helped me to learn the nuances of the new home I had come into but also was a daunting challenge.
We have been married for 37 years. What makes our relationship going is the romance that is still fresh. We respect each other and do not take anything for granted. We know we are different and do not have to agree with everything the other says or thinks. We argue and fight but it never hangs to spoil the day or hour. We have learnt to accept our weaknesses, faults, and shortcomings and thus our love for each other has grown over the years. This in short is also my hand out to those who choose to marry. Adjust, make room for each other’s differences as something to look forward to, don’t change yourself nor want the other person to, respect each other and continue to say thank you and sorry so when the time comes to hug you can do it with all your heart.
ABDULREHMAN KUNIL and Ms SHAMEEM KUNIL:
Ms Shameem Kunil, 62 yrs; is an active social worker, and was Six times Past President and the present President of AGE-Mangalore…(Action Group for the Elderly)an organization for the Senior Citizens…She is the Past District Chairman(2013-14) of Inner Wheel District and trustee of Preethi Neethi Trust an NGO for leprosy patients, and also ran a play school, “Step By Step” for 10 years… She has been married to Past Rotarian, PP & PHF Abdul Rehman Kunil for 42 years…
She has three children, Mrs Hana Kunil, Mrs Hiba Kunil and Hani Kunil. All three are married and settled in life…Hana is an Interior Designer married to Ilyas Akthar, who is running an Event Management company and is settled in Bangalore…Hiba, a postgraduate in Mass Communications is married to Badrul Bilal, a software engineer settled in Canada. They are blessed with a son, Izaan and a daughter, Aliza. Hani, a graduate in Hotel Management, is married to Nafisa Rasheed, a Multimedia and culinary graduate; they are blessed with a daughter, Sofiya. He is running a restaurant by the name The Malabar Canteen in Bangalore…
The secret of my happy married life is love, trust and mutual understanding. We have healthy arguments that are short-lived. We both make valuable friends, value humanitarianism and extend help to fellow human beings…My message to the young married couple is respect for one another and good understanding. Trust and Love are the secrets of happiness. Make sure you keep good relationships with your parents, relatives, and elders and seek advice from them if there are any hurdles in your married life. Keep yourself active in various activities, especially yoga for health benefits, as we do. Settle your problems if any, in a systematic and understanding way, without making wrong decisions, to end your relationship.
Well said by all these Vintage and happily married couples -let me conclude from my perspective- Not every day will be perfect, or even good, and that has to be okay. Talk about the imperfections and the pain points. Don’t beat yourselves up. The old adage says marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Some days will feel like an obstacle course where you have to carry your spouse up a mountain and through a pit of mud. Obsessing over whether you have a strong marriage or whether you’re doing everything “right” are great ways to set yourself up for failure.