‘Namma Ajja Ajjirannu Preethisutheve’- Capitanio HS Students take Oath
‘Namma Ajji Ajjirannu Preethisutheve’ (We Will Love Our Grandmas and Grandpas)- Capitanio High School Students take Oath during a Awareness Programme as to ‘How to Love and Care for the Elders’ organized by Seniors Citizens Helpline-Mangaluru
Mangaluru : “Namma Ajja Ajjirannu, Appa Amma Avarannu Navella Preethisutheve…..” was part of the lyrics of the Kannada song sung to the tune of English party favorite”He is a jolly good fellow….” by the members of Senior Citizens Helpline-Mangaluru; and VishwasTrust-Mangaluru during a awareness programme as to “how to care and love the elders”, held at Capitanio High School-Mangaluru on 2 August 2017. With so many atrocities, assault, attacks and abuse going on recently by youngsters/children on seniors, this programme was indeed needed to bring awareness among the young students of this school, so that they would love and care for their elderly parents and grandparents when they grow up.
We often assume that the greatest dangers for seniors are from strangers on dark streets or from violent men or youth who might break into our houses. The sad truth is that the highest perils of brutal and persistent violence lurk within the intimate spaces of their homes, from those to whom they are closest. If you go around and ask some of the elders they would say that they would testify to the suffering abuse within their families. Four in 10 old people testify to verbal abuse, three to neglect, and a third to disrespect. Many seniors have one common reason for their abuse in the hands of their children-that they depend economically on their children. But ironically, nearly a third of the old people feel that their abuse results not from their dependence economically on their children but from the dependence of their adult children, mostly sons, on their small incomes.
“Our financial dependence on our son and daughter-in-law has turned us into their servants.”; “My own Nephews beat me so brutally that I couldn’t move out of bed for 7 days.”; “I don’t receive a word of love or affection.”; “At my son’s place, I am given just two chapattis in a day.” -these stirring accounts, published in various media, is reflective of a larger and deeper problem that senior citizens face today – elder abuse. The main abusers were daughters-in-law, followed by sons and daughters. The reasons for abuse were mostly emotional and economic dependence of the victims on the abusers. Abuse can be verbal, physical and emotional. It can be neglect, disrespect and abandonment.
Addressing the students, Ms Lidwin Lobo-the coordinator at Senior Citizens Helpline said, “Many people don’t report elder abuse because of fear of retaliation. Plus they don’t want to complain about their children or project the family in a bad light. They think it is a natural part of growing old. But what is even more concerning is that not many are aware of a law that protects senior citizens from abuse and abandonment . There is an Act “to provide for more effective provisions for the maintenance and welfare of parents and senior citizens, guaranteed and recognized under the Constitution and for matters connected there with or incidental thereto. If you come across any abuse of elders or even elders who face hardship or torture from their children should call our Seniors Citizens Helpline at Toll Free number 1090 ( only BSNL and Tata Docomo customers only), others dial 0824-2421190 or 0824-2436631.”
Edith D’Souza, active member at Senior Citizens Helpline kept the students entertained with a song “Namma Ajja Ajjirannu, Appa Amma Avarannu Navella Preethisutheve….” with a meaning to love and care fore their parents, and elders, and she asked the students, “Tell your elders that You Respect and Appreciate Them- Though we may practice respect to our elders by listening, being polite or visiting, how often do we actually say, “I respect you greatly, love you and appreciate that you are here.” This may seem simple, but it can be overlooked. If possible, the next time you see an elder that has been a positive force in your life, tell them this message of respect. Promise that you will all do it”
Sathi Monteiro, a volunteer at Vishwas Trust for the Elderly-Mangaluru addressing the students said, ” By asking an elder about their life, you can hear some of the most amazing stories. It also shows that you are interested in them, and that you care. Something as simple as asking an elder to tell you their stories shows a great deal of respect and reverence for an elder who deserves it. Sometimes we are not close enough to see an elder in person, but this certainly does not mean we cannot reach out to them in a personal way. In our busy lives it’s easy to forget the amount of meaning an elder will experience if we take time out of our day to say hello. No matter what, you should show respect to your elderly parents or grand parents who have played an important role in your life by bringing you up, nurturing you and providing whatever you wanted- and now as a respect you should give back to them the respect, love and they deserve”.
The programme was graced by Sr Shalini- Principal, Capitanio English Medium High School; and by Sr Jasmitha- Teacher at the High School. The welcome address was delivered by Teacher Ms Diana Lobo, and the vote of thanks was proposed by student Charan Raj. Felix D’souza, a teacher of the High school speaking during the occasion also urged the students to follow what they learnt from today’s awareness talk, and start respecting, loving and caring for their elders without any second thought.
In conclusion, Elder abuse is a bit like AIDS in India. We know it’s a big problem; we have even heard it’s a crisis. But most of us here, insist it doesn’t happen in our families. Many elderly folks have experienced some kind of abuse or the other, usually from family members, especially from Children and daughter-in-laws. And we don’t have to go far-we can see that elderly abuse right here in our hometown-Mangaluru. I have been following up on this issue for the last so many months, slowly interviewing inmates of Old-age and Rehabilitation Centers in Mangaluru- and the stories that have heard from these seniors have even brought tears in my eyes. Although I had met only a few, but I bet there are many who would have the same kind of stories/feelings to share about their agony by being at a old-age home.
The old adage “We have two ears and one mouth for a reason” applies here i this senior citizens issue. When in the presence of an elder, make sure to listen more than you speak as an elder’s words come from a place with many decades of experience. Acting in a polite way to an elder is a demonstration of respect. If you are in the presence of an elder, be polite. This means if they are talking, listen, if they ask you a question, respond respectfully and with a calm tone. Do not interrupt them, and always ask if they need anything. Do not address them by their first name unless they have given you permission. If you do not know their name, you may use sir or ma’am again unless they tell you different. Sometimes our elders may spend time without the benefit of their communities because they may be at home, in an elder retirement facility or simply sitting alone during a get-together or other social occasion. It is a great show of respect to visit with them and bring the community to them.
Finally, The Senior Citizens’ Helpline situated in the premises of the Mangalore South Police station at Pandeshwar was initiated by Vishwas Trust for the Elderly. This was the first service of the kind in the whole of our country to which in the year 2005 , the Mangalore Telecom division had allotted a four digit Seniors Citizens Helpline at Toll Free number 1090 ( only BSNL and Tata Docomo customers only), others dial 0824-2421190 or 0824-2436631. This facility has fulfilled its purpose several fold. The Senior Citizen Helpline does not merely give directions, advice and direct the Elderly with procedures for obtaining benefits like Old Age pension, Widow pension, Senior Citizen card, Aadhar Card, Pan Card, Voter’s Id etc.
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School environment is the best place where the Teachers as well as the Students can always bring up topics that relate to our families, our communities and also our country. There are so many issues that bother each and everyone of us, especially as far as elderly people in many families that suffer due to lack of family support or the community support. Each and every family related issue boils down to the resources that are available to sustain all the age old related problems as well as the costs. In the Western world, aging problem is also a matter… Read more »
Thanks a lot, Mr Max Rasquinha, for your encouraging words. It is the initiative taken by the well known Viswas Trust for senior citizens. We do need the support of philanthropist like you to go ahead with ‘Bond with Elders’ programmes. I thank Mr Alphy n team for giving a good coverage of the event.