I am not as much worried about global warming as I am worried about the decreasing levels of human intelligence. Some of the most amazing inventions mankind has ever seen have taken place during the last 100 years! But now it looks as if the inventing brains are taking a siesta and the only things that are still being developed are faster, smaller and cheaper microchips. Hardly anything else. Can’t they think of anything other than computers? And DVD’s? And plasma TV’s?
Here are some ideas for any inventors out there. These are some of my pet projects. But I’m no inventor. Nor am I a potential financier. But as you read, you’ll see that every MAN has sometime or other in his life has wished for some of them and some like me wish for all of them all the time. So, anyone out there in the cyberspace not yet hooked to silly things like chatting and gaming or not yet kept their grey matter in the safe deposit lockers, put on your thinking caps and let’s invent.
Remote Fetcher: The dog used to bring the paper. Now in the electronic era, finding that ever disappearing remote has become one of the most irritating things that irritate a man, only next to the problem of increasing traffic jams. Why is the remote always somewhere other than near your chair? Why does the wife always insist that the remote should be near the TV? A auto remote fetcher device would be ideal. Just imagine. As soon as you plonk yourself on that soft sofa chair, the Auto Remote Fetcher looks around for the remote and then brings it to you. Wow!
Toilet Seat Lifter: Should the toilet seat be left on the raised position or not? Forget the argument. The Auto toilet seat lifter does the work based on your needs as soon as you enter and/or exit the toilet.
Bermuda Converter: Remember after a hard day’s work you are back home and how the work of changing into your home clothes now looks so exhausting… Well, the Bermuda converter is the right solution. As soon as you return home and are seated in front of the TV, while the ‘Remote fetcher’ is doing its work, the ‘Bermuda Converter’ will start working on your clothes. Within 30 seconds it will convert you from a trouser-clad executive into a Bermuda-wearing husband (er, only if you are married).
Paper Arranger: The nightmare of every wife. Now the auto arranger will arrange all your bills, notes, currency, more bills, coins, reminders, yellow stickys and everything else. It will even collect all the important papers from your pockets, wallets, drawers, car drawers and even from the bathroom mirror stand.
Hot Iron, Fan, Stove Switch-offer : This is not some discount offer! This is another gadget that will save the men a lot of ‘lectures’ and ‘teaching sessions’. It automatically switches off all the things men have switched on and have forgotten to switch off. This will be an add-on with the following one which is truly a dream-come-true for many men.
Intelligent Reminder: This is a reminding machine. Yes. And it’s very intelligent. It will give you a reminder when the gas is getting over or when the passport is to be renewed or when the electricity bill is to be paid. It will even remind you when you have forgotten to switch off the gas stove. Well, you may say that you already have diaries and computer programs in addition to your wife for that. Well, this pure Mangalorean invention is really ingenious. It will remind you. But it will not nag. For example, the ‘Intelligent Reminder’ will not tell you to go and pay the taxes. It will wait till the tax department is about to sue you and then will alert you. Same way, when you have forgotten to switch off the gas, it will not irritate you every 3 minutes. But when the house is about to catch fire, you will have your warning. Isn’t that awesome!
? OnlyJivit.com
Author: Clifford DSouza- Kuwait