Suicide -Your Life’s Safety is Just a ‘Hello’ Away
We all say suicide is not a solution. Of course, it is not. But they do occur quite frequently. Unhappiness and sadness is spreading faster than any other contagious disease. The reason is that depression is in the air. We breathe it knowingly or unknowingly every moment. Above all the sad part is we don’t try or reach out for a solution. For some strange reason, we enjoy being alone. If we have a problem we have a solution also. They coexist. Our task is to find the right solution. Keeping aloof is not a solution. Like the way we go to the doctor for physical illness, in depression or psychological problems also, we need to act. We need to share. Then the solution reaches us.
At times I strongly feel we should stop sympathising with the victims. As you go down reading this article you will find enough reason to believe so.
It is not that the problem arises suddenly and we succumb immediately. There is a systematic build up leading to suicide. Definitely, we live with the problem for a few days’ months or years. This indicates we have enough energy to withstand such fatal drives. What happens so suddenly, we lose the grip? What we do when clouds are accumulating? Why we fail to recognise warning signs and symptoms is necessary to be understood.
Unless the would be victim acts for himself no help can do anything. They are the victims of unseen fear and anxiety of judgment from the society. Being known that the people who are going to judge are also equally sinners, why care for such judiciary and judges is difficult to understand.
Let us view this problem in Four distinctive categories :
1. Awareness about problem itself and solutions-
If you feel this article is harsh as you finish reading completely, look at the quality of the people committing suicide. Their action gets everyone by surprise. Because most of them have all the ingredients to sustain life happily. Educated, financially sound and in a position to get well connected. What is more disturbing is those who commit suicide definitely may have gone through the news of such incidents before them and may have read as many as comments against committing the act including the available helplines and help. But still, they can’t prevent themselves from being one of them. How one single bad reason scores over other hundreds of good reasons to terminate life is a big question mark. Can these people be said about the lack of awareness?!
We need to give our children enough care and education to prevent taking such steps. Avoid them coming under pressure for any reason. Children have a tendency to commit suicide to teach a lesson to those who harm them. Their age is not capable of distinguishing what is right and wrong for them. They are innocents and hence impulsive.
2. Family /Society –
Whatever the reason for suicide, its roots are somehow connected to the immediate family and society. The reason is that the victim is of same origin and environment. If the family can’t find the reason then it’s difficult for an outsider to do so. It is true that the disconnectivity among family members is at the highest level. This thing alone boosts the ego and prevents the needy family member in reaching others and seeking help. It is also true that after the demise they do come and share the grief. But it is too late.
It is also difficult to identify who is actually going to commit suicide. Talking about depression is a fashion. Every person we meet can have problems and talk about depression. Many magnify their problem and talk, few more pretend to be in the sad mood to gain sympathy. This reduces the impact of an actual week and needy person. There is a chance that we may take such actual people lightly because of the trend.
Sitting and reading from a distant corner we do a lot of guess work and blame immediate people around the victim. As we read, in some incidents where suicide has become almost a fashion we need to avoid senseless comments. What happens with others may come knocking on our door also.
3. Barriers to act-Victim as culprit view-
One thing is very sure, unless the would be victim does not act for himself/herself no one can stop this menace. Being a counsellor I have seen and witnessed many people living for years saying almost daily that they are going to commit suicide. It’s not possible to reach every one of them.
No one commits suicide at the first thought even though they are impulsive type people. When such thoughts invade our mind we need to check the system around us, psychological as well as physical. The most innate feature in any living creature is the safety of own life. This is the foundation for all other actions and reactions. We fear and care for our life. So how come we neglect such incoming tendencies to end our life. From where do we get such a strong drive?
People those who think and commit suicide are not serving any purpose. A purpose is alive when we are alive. Their life is a waste on earth as well as in the eternal life. They are the most selfish creatures on earth because neither have they had the love for self or others around them, who have shared their love and affection over the years. They just think something is unbearable and decide to go on their own. They do so knowing the amount of pain that will be caused to their loved ones especially their mother and children with their decision to end life.
They have a deeply rooted negative mindset that is preventing them from seeing good. For their kind information, a number of good people largely outnumber the bad. It is their fault that they are not reaching resources available when in need. They are just a word away from seeking help, can’t they say hello at least..?
The problem they encounter is not limited to them alone. There are plenty out there who suffer more than them. But they don’t commit suicide because they are responsible people. In pain also they have a purpose to be alive. Not all other aims end with just one problem around. The chemical imbalance that leads them to suicide grows in their bodily factory. It is in their hand to prevent that. Don’t give us a silly reason in your suicide note.
If anything prevents them from opening up to the people around, have a dog at home and love. They share pure love and emotions and help you play safe during impulsive moments. But wherever and whatever situation they are in, if they don’t act first nothing can save them from dying permanently because they are acting against God’s will and they don’t reach heaven. It’s a permanent suffering for them for a momentous lapse in prevailing sense.
They are acting against God’s will. They don’t deserve any mercy if they are committing suicide. Because modern world provides them all the assistance they need to sustain their life. If they have lived up to that moment before terminating their life I strongly feel they have all the strength to live thereafter also. I am sure they lived with the problems that led them to commit suicide for a considerable time which shows that they have strength. It’s their fault that they loosen the grip. They don’t have any right to mention someone else’s name in their death note for their lapses.
4. Hope And Possibilities –
I had an opportunity to meet a person awarded the death penalty. During the discussion, I asked him about the fear of facing death, suicide etc. It was a new revelation to me the types of hope we can live with. He told me when the actual court order comes into reality, may be before that the death penalty will be abolished in India and many more countries, where people oppose the death penalty. What a hope to hang on to life. This hope is what drives us to live day by day. A person who is inside the cell, totally helpless and completely disconnected from the outside world also has the hope to live. We the educated, active, having all the support, keep aloof and think differently. At times I feel that people who commit suicide are selfish, they are just bothered about their self rather their other bonds.
A mother’s humble touch is enough to stop such evil thoughts. If she is away a word from her is sufficient. If you are alone and in deep depression, it’s better to have a recorded conversation with your mother, children or the people we love and respect.
The biggest blessing from God to mankind is hope. Every rising sun brings us new glory new opportunities. Why put a full stop?
The terrorists condemned to death also try their best to survive using all the legal possibilities including mercy petition. They too care about their life having killed many innocents. Then how come we who are enjoying a lot of freedom, having the solution besides us embrace death?
Dear readers, in case you are in deep depression that leads to committing suicide, unlike physical illness anyone can be our rescuer. It just needs one action, we need to talk. We need to ask for help. We need not go looking for a doctor. Help is available at next door, beside you. We just need to say hello during that one demanding moment…till the cloud passes away.
