And they lived happily ever after? and then? Most of the prince and princess storybooks that I have read in my childhood had this phrase at the end of the story and I always wondered whether every married couple experienced eternal bliss. Times have changed. Nowadays one just has to open a newspaper or a magazine and you see stories that do not have happy conclusions. And I wonder why?
There was a time when couples would swear by their marriage vow “Till Death Do Us Apart.” Now, one does not need to wait that long to stay apart. Come to think of it. So many couples these days are divorcing their spouses only to re-experience “marital bliss” (which they just went through) with someone new. Divorces were very rare and unheard of in the past. What seems to have gone wrong with our present times? Why do we take vows that we do not intend to live by? Have divorces become the must-have fashion accessory of the moment?
Marriage is a sacrament and a commitment in which two people bind together. They learn to live with each other taking into their stride the good times and the bad times. No marriage is a bed of roses as it takes two people to make or break a marriage.
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…Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation...
Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: “It is not good that the man should be alone.” [Gen 2:18] The woman, “flesh of his flesh,” i.e., his counterpart, his equal, his nearest in all things, is given to him by God as a “helpmate”; she thus represents God from whom comes our help. [Cf. Gen 2:18-25] “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.” [Gen 2:24] The Lord himself shows that this signifies an unbreakable union of their two lives by recalling what the plan of the Creator had been “in the beginning”: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” [Mt 19:6]
Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This experience makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman. Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. This disorder can manifest itself more or less acutely, and can be more or less overcome according to the circumstances of cultures, eras, and individuals, but it does seem to have a universal character.
It is not a joy ride for the couple going through the process of divorce. Both experience hurt and pain of not being able to live with the person they once were ready to die for. Then comes the question of children. The spouses separate themselves from each other for whatever reasons known to them, but what happens to the children of such marriages? Can the children be divorced from their parents too?
A friend of mine is still suffering from the consequences of separation. Her teenaged son is torn between his parents. After 10 years of separation, my friend now blames her family for having instigated her to get a divorce. Was she so gullible to give in to her parent?s demands at the time of the divorce? She could have stood her ground for the sake of her son if not for anyone else. However, at that time she was too na?ve to take such a major decision this is what she tells me now.
Most couples take such a drastic step and realize their follies only when it is too late. What should one do in such a situation? How about A Contract Marriage say for 5 years, 10 years, or forever?. Better still a marriage of convenience that suits both individuals. But what ever you decide think before you sign on the dotted line…
Author: Ramona Pereira- UAE
