To My Dear Friend, a Heartfelt Tribute! Classmates Mourn the Sad Demise of Sunil

To My Dear Friend, a Heartfelt Tribute! Classmates of St Aloysius High School and PUC-Mangaluru Mourn the Sad Demise of Sunil M R, an entrepreneur, who managed Usha Jewellers after the death of his Father Ramesh M R, for decades.

Mangaluru: As they say, “Once an Aloysian, Always an Aloysian! And here we are remembering our dear classmate Sunil M R who will dearly be missed by everyone who was closely associated with him. Early this morning, after reaching after a tiresome journey from Goa, my friend Dr Kiran Shetty-the Medical Superintendent at Father Muller Hospital-Thumbay called and said, “I have bad and sad news for you. Our friend Sunil passed away during the wee hours of Monday 2 September”. The blow was hard, the shock was severe when I heard the news from my friend. Many did not know that death would come to him in such a way, but it was His will and wish that he decided to end his life, which has left his family members, relatives, admirers, friends and well-wishers in sorrow.

Being his Classmate in St Aloysius High School, and later his collegemate at St Aloysius College, Mangaluru (since he had taken Arts and I did my B Sc) but we were great friends on and outside the college campus. But unfortunately, Sunil had to quit his college education after the death of his father in order to manage their family business- Usha Jewellers-one on Balmatta Road; and other one was next to Catholic Club, but now closed. When I left to the USA, Sunil used to communicate with me either over the phone or through email- and he always had a shortlist of items that he wanted me bring him when I came down from States.

Our meeting point when I came down from the US was at Kanara Club-Mangaluru, and even also after I came down from the US for good, where we used to share our views and news over a couple of cocktails- and I will always cherish the social time I spent with my dear pal Sunil, for the last so many years- and the last time we said “Cheers” was a couple of years ago, after Sunil stopped coming to the Club, due to health reasons. I write this with great sadness over the unimaginable loss of a close friend to cancer. He fought a brave and strong battle for two years but cancer would not allow him to get better. He took each day in stride, never really complaining, always feeling tired and always hoping that the treatments would finally end so he could get on with her life. This was my hope too. But my hopes were all in vain.

Yes, we all know that Cancer is a brutal disease, where our young and old dear ones/friends have lost their lives battling with the cancer disease. Cancer may have cut some peoples’ lives shorter than they would have been without having cancer. It may have prevented them from doing certain things while still living. Cancer may take away the joy we have from having these people with us on this earth longer than if they didn’t have cancer.

Some people fight cancer with everything they have, every day that they take a breath. We all know that Cancer had worn down his body since the day it affected him- the deadly disease exhausted his strength. And we all know it took his life. But cancer couldn’t dim his smile. And what a peculiar smile it was! Everything good, everything wholesome, everything pure about manhood was found in his unique smile.

But there was more—a hint of joyfulness and fun, a sense of self-confidence, an unmistakable kindness. It was the kind of smile that drew people to him. But the ravages of cancer, chemo and radiation could not wipe that smile from his face. He didn’t express any feelings of his suffering, instead, he stood strong and interacted with his friends once in a while. If anything, everyone would agree with me is that his personality and smile was brighter and more joyous the last time we all saw him. Cancer was helpless against it.

Although his health was deteriorating day by day, our friend Sunil was doubly blessed with his natural personality—inside and out. Cancer could do nothing to diminish either. It was his personality that shone through his eyes and smile every day of his life. Cancer tried to take it from him but failed miserably. Cancer couldn’t steal his popularity. To know him was to love him and to root for him. We should all be so lucky to have as many friends as Sunil did. Cancer ripped a hole in the lives of everyone who loved him. Cancer left us devastated and heartsick. Cancer robbed the world of someone who would have done great things—someone who would have made a difference in others..

This handsome and good-looking man, inside and out, whose signature attire was a white-coloured shirt or polo shirt matching a suitable trouser, clean shaved inside with a happy and smiling face was a wonderful friend to me, and many others with his gentle and caring nature. One of his beliefs in life was the importance of being authentic with people, saying what needs to be said because it’s good for the relationship and for the soul. Unfinished business causes pain and having peace is essential for a healthy and joyful life. Also, I always admired how he never judged or forced his opinions on anyone, but offered valuable and truthful advice that I will surely miss.

My friend Sunil was loving and real. He was a wonderful husband to his beloved wife, and to his one son and one daughter and had laid a strong foundation for them. We both cherished our friendship and always kept in touch through WhatsApp messages- and he always reciprocated with his appreciation note for the reports published in our website. He always praised my articles and was an ardent reader of Mangalorean.com, and he always complimented me with his kind words of wisdom, like “Great Write-Up” , “Awesome Report, Alfie”, “Article along with photos were simply outstanding. Keep up the good work that you are entrusted with”- these words which I will surely keep in my heart for a long long time.

Here are a few messages as to what Sunil’s classmates have to say: Dr Ravishankar Rao– Professor in English at Mangalore University “We have lost a precious classmate. we are that much poorer as a group..leaving his body on Gauri Ganesha, Sunil is blessed with happiness in a world beyond sorrow and pain. I pray that his soul has a peaceful transition. Farewell, dear Sunil”.

Peter Pais writes, “Fondly recall his smiling face and polite ways. A good friend sadly missed”. Terrence D’Souza (A R D’souza & Sons) writes, “He was my Guru and adviser in weapons, we used to talk often in general”; Linus Sequeira writes, “Shocking news to our WhatsApp group. I still remember him and his smile when we both used to chat at his jewellery shop, shake hands and exchange fun talk. What a sad ending to a friend who grew with us”.

Well said by a few of Sunil’s classmates, about his nature, his smile and politeness. His beautiful spirit will surely live on through his wife, his two children, and they will always know how much he loved them. He tried with all his heart to stay for them, but God called him, and he had to go. I can judge and say that during my friend’s illness, I know that there were two things that might have kept him going, the love and care from his wife and children and hope, otherwise to face another day would have been tough, and I know how many days he must have had like that.

Now my hope is that my dear friend Sunil M R is resting in peace knowing he did all that he could and that his family will be fine. When we love people it’s so comforting to know that they will always be with us in our hearts. Those who have lived a good life do not fear death, but meet it calmly, and even long for it in the face of great suffering. But those who do not have a peaceful conscience, dread death as though life means nothing but physical torment. The challenge is to live our life so that we will be prepared for death when it comes. Sunil is very much alive today, perhaps smiling at us and telling us as the poet would say cheerfully:

“Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there, I do not sleep, I am a thousand winds that blow, I am the diamond glints on snow, I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning’s hush, I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight, I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die.” I’ll see you again, my friend- your long-time friend, Alfie!

FUNERAL DETAILS: The body of Sunil M R will be kept for viewing at his Residence on M R Bhat Lane, near Morgan’s Gate, Mangaluru from 1 pm till 4 pm, after which the body will be taken to Hindu Rudra Bhoomi, Nandigudda, Mangaluru. For more details, you can call Sunil’s brother Sanjay at 9845082977

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