You can’t change your DP after YOU DIE!
Alright! I know that was a bit painful, shocking and saddening! But this was an eye-opening truthful Instagram meme I had seen recently, that got me writing this article. I know this will lead to a lot of questions. “Why should I bother about changing my DP? Why should it be anybody’s concern whether I change it or not? What is this article all about, huh?”
Apparently, most people around us are worried and concerned about this tiny little fact. Let’s be honest here. Haven’t all of us at one point or another heard many similar comments around us? Why is she always putting up a status? Why is his status all of a sudden so spiritual? What is she so philosophical about? Why does so and so’s family always have to update their latest travels, accolades, memories on Facebook or Instagram? And so on and so forth….blah, blah, blah!
Anyway, on a lighter side I heard a friend of mine tell me that every time she put up a family picture of hers on any of the social media sites, her mother would admonish her and state time and again…
“ Beti, Don’t put so many good pictures of the children and you. People will cast an evil eye on you.”
To which her father would jokingly reply stating “ My Dear, then all the Celebrities around the World putting up their pictures would have been dead long ago.” Something to ponder over, right?
This brings me to another point. Recently many around me who have been hurt by negative criticism are constantly putting up this post “Not every Friend Request You get are Friend Requests. Most are CCTV SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS”.
WE talk about FREE WILL and the right to do what we please. We roam around with quotes on Car Bumpers that say LIVE YOUNG, LIVE FREE. But are we really free? So many dreamers around us are being killed by just one statement that is so rampant among us. “LOG KYA KAHENGEY?” WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY? ”Even though we convince ourselves that we are free and we don’t care about the opinions of others, we are still surrounded by people who want to hurt the child in us.
I personally feel (and this is purely subjective) that whether we love living our life privately or publically, whether we want to share our thoughts, opinions and accomplishments with others or keep it secretive, it is in our hands. God has given us a free will and it is left up to us as to how we desire living our lives. I remember an essay I read years ago titled “When to mind your own business”. The essay basically dealt with the concept of focusing one’s own life goal, family, career, milestones, obstacles and trying to build one’s own self- esteem, instead of poking your nose into other people’s life.
Many many times (and I am sick and tired of this) without a second thought we hear toxic people throwing nasty remarks at others. Being judgemental and vicious about their own friends and loved ones.
“OH! She’s Divorced! Who knows what must have happened? Something must be wrong with her for sure. Divorcees are such dirty people. Trying to steal other people’s husbands! Oh! She’s a Widow. Desperate for sure!” He is unmarried? Even though he’s so old! Something must be wrong somewhere!
Third class comments from so-called classy people!
Most of the times that I am forced to hear such conversations around me, I try really hard not to laugh out loud or blurt out the bitter truth. Ladies! You need to do some research work! Before you accuse anyone else, please find out what your “happily” married husbands are doing with the other “happily” married women secretly. I am sure they are not playing hide and seek! And oh many times it turned out that these oh so saintly “Sathi Savithris” were busy having their own private fun assuming that nobody knew about it. In reality, the Whole World is busy laughing behind their backs.
OH! Cruel isn’t it? Really rough and crude right! You are being judged now! How does it feel? Hurts doesn’t it?
Just listen to yourself! IF it was your own family being gossiped about, would you be quiet? The worst thing you could do to people who are going through tough times is to dig their graves even deeper. Suicides, Depression, Drug and Alcohol Abuse happens because of one cheap comment made recklessly. It has the name “Sadistic Pleasure”.
Why don’t we let others live their lives in peace instead of trying to hurt them all the time?
Every one of us, in our own little ways, are trying to build a happy home, normal life and a future to look forward to. And that one comment that you may have made could be the last straw!
It is not out of bitterness or vengeance that this article was penned. Rather it was a sense of responsibility that made me write this. Having spoken to a number of individuals going through similar pain, individuals who are silently suffering and have nowhere and no one to go to.
And in my case, it was some of my church mates, a few colleagues and my family members who have stood up for us in the worst of times and it is such kind of “silent angels” who are the REAL HEROES and SHEROES in every suffering person’s life. Many such loving people may feel that this kind of help and support goes unnoticed. But it doesn’t! God sees it all!
I am Human, So are You! We all do gossip knowingly or unknowingly. All we need to do is to be careful that we are not responsible for someone going into depression or attempting suicide! Would you be an angel or a devil in someone’s life? Even if you have sarcastically answered the Devil, then so be it! In the movie “LION KING” it is called the CIRCLE OF LIFE for a reason.
Remember, What GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND! The more you give, the more you get! BE IT THE GOOD, THE BAD OR THE UGLY!
Live a LIFE that is FEARLESS, FUN and FULFILLING and FANTASTIC! It’s not a life you have borrowed from someone else. Its God’s GIFT to YOU and what you want to make of it is YOUR CHOICE, but led by GOD’s WILL!
SO GO AHEAD! : ) CHANGE YOUR DP whenever You feel like! Cheers to Life!
RACHITHA POORNIMA CABRAL
ASSISTANT PROFESSOR
DEPARTMENT OF ENGLISH
SCHOOL OF SOCIAL WORK, ROSHNI NILAYA