Life is not a bed of roses, they say. It comes with different shades and textures, some brighter than the rest. No matter how bright life gets, there is always a dark side to it. Remember the fact- everything has a shadow.
When you get married, it?s a package deal, with the attractive feature (the groom) being displayed like an expensive car in a showroom. You get to test drive him and make your selection. Well, at least a car comes by itself; a suitor comes with prospective in-laws. Ouch, I said it!! The word- ?In-laws? sends vibrations down so many mangalorean spines, well actually most Indians at least. I do not think the term is very much dwelled on in the Americas or in Europe, though on occasions it might cause minor ripples.
I am not suggesting that all in-laws are bad or evil but believe me, some are. Of course, the few good ones are mostly unheard of in mangalorean circles. But yes, there are good ones, just not mine or probably yours, maybe someone else?s, someone we do not know. Appearances are deceptive they say. Well, its true in a way but its also true those in-laws make their real appearance on the stage only after the first few days of festivities. I say first few days because really they do not take long to join in the act.
The mother in law is the star of the show and drives everyone crazy, and that too literally with her daunting remarks about the daughter-in-law?s appearance, her height, skin color, her culinary skills and everything under the earth that pertains to the newly wed bride, everything. I do not understand why mothers-in- law are so obsessed with their daughters-in-law and their looks. From what I gather from my acquaintances, is that mothers in law want to look young and attractive to their sons and so endlessly compete with the poor daughter-in-law.
Mine tried to get into my jeans one day and was proudly bragging that we were both the same size. What she didn?t know was that those jeans were awfully loose and hanging on me, which is why I lent them to her. When I got married, I did not think that in-laws would matter as long as you were nice to them. Soon, I learnt that I was wrong. Being nice was not the answer. If I had to remain nice, I?d probably be six feet under the ground. Well, thank God I?m alive. Life is precious. Most of our parents brought us up trying to instill virtues of humility and goodness in us. I agree they are all good virtues and need to be upheld but for how long and especially when it comes to the type of in-laws who will stop at nothing to make you feel like a doormat.
I know a whole lot of people who go through this nonsense everyday and I tell them, you need to be strong, in every way. Health is everything and there is more to life than some cockamamie people trying to mess up your life. I have a friend, whose mother- in- law, wanted to smooch her son just because her daughter-in ?law did. I cannot understand this behavior. I still feel like throwing up when I think of this woman.
Talk about fathers-in- law and the other in-laws, that?s another long, long story. But for now, lets talk about the most common saga- the never-ending saga of the ages. I know that many of the mothers-in-law who read this article probably have daggers to throw at me for being so blunt. But that?s the truth and it hurts. If you are a mother-in-law, you probably are saying, ?No, I?m not like that. Not me!!?. Well, if it?s not you, then it is someone around you for sure. Think about your own mother-in-law. You have learnt to live with yours and I?ve learnt to live with mine. Let?s face it, like the American tax law ? You can?t divorce your in-laws?.
Author: Shania Fernandes- USA
